Adrien: My turn at Gaultier for Target

Every single time I let myself get excited about one of the Go International lines I'm so sorely disappointed I don't even bother to get excited anymore and mostly view them with suspicion. They're almost always a little too weird, a little too expensive and a little too short for my taste. But, having viewed the flammable horrors that Marianne endured JUST FOR YOU, I felt it was only fair to join her. I tried on three dresses and they were...not good. Not good at all.

Dress #1 was a black strapless cocktail dress that felt like it was entirely made out of cheap, crinkly black garbage bags. It was the kind of thing that looks okay on the display but makes you say, "ew!" when you touch it. There's a lot of weird detailing that you can't really see in the photos, but it's all about being as unflattering as possible:


It fit okay, I guess, but felt so gross I couldn't wait to take it off.

Dress #2 was adorable on the hanger - a perfect little spring eyelet dress with a bright red patent belt. I tried it on and it didn't look bad:

And then I turned to the side and gasped:

Apparently this is a known issue with this dress and I completely cracked up this morning when I read this review. YES. It's an instant-pregnancy/big booty dress. Not the look I'm going for, Jean Paul.

Finally, we have Dress #3. Maybe I'm just dumb but I didn't get it. It was basically a shapeless polyester sack with an extra swag of material attached for no reason:



Huh. Well, maybe you could wear it like this:


Or be very dramatic when making theatrical gestures:


Or just shrug it off, hang it up and give it sheepishly back to the lady with your plastic 3 items card. Yeah, maybe that.