What Hermes can do to a friendship.

M: I am not a watch person, but Garance Doré just posted about a watch that made me suck the air in between my teeth. Of course it's Hermès.

A: That watch makes me INSANE. It's so so so perfect that it makes me want to sell everything I own so I can have it to wear in my van down by the river.

M: God, I know. Maybe we can share one and live in a cardboard box and eat cat food.

A: I would totally eat cat food if it meant i could wear that watch. I could check the time to make sure we moved the van before the cops came to chase us off.

M: On day Lulu will write a book like The Glass Castle and go on Oprah to talk about how her mom went to live on the streets all for the love of a watch.

A: But it'll be worth it because it's a really, really nice watch. She'll be lucky if you leave it to her in your will after she writes about seeing your Hermes-clad hand digging in the garbage as she passes in a cab on her way to some fancy event.

M: That's your inheritance, you ungrateful little munchkin! Now, pass me the cat food.

A: Hey, at least we have The Watch. It's my turn to wear it, by the way.

M: Um, the schedule CLEARLY states that it's my turn.

A: GIVE ME THE WATCH. NOW.

M: FINE. But I get first dibs on the Fancy Feast.

A: Whitefish Feast or Beef 'n Liver Pate?

M: Seafood Surprise!

A: You always want the Seafood Surprise. Greedy.

M: I just have a delicate palate.

The End

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