Grossing Ourselves Out.

photo: The Sartorialist

M: No one's pants are the correct length here. And I bet he smells like dirty hair.

A: I like...her sunglasses? Sorry, I had to really look to find something I liked.

M: I really like her sunglasses. But that's overshadowed by being annoyed by the whole "coat over the shoulders" thing. When is that ever practical? Do people outside of Garance and the SHobbit's world do this?

A: Yeah, it looks like it's actually cold wherever they are, so why not just put your arms in the sleeves already?

M: "I don't want to be warm, I want to be fashion."

By the way, Garance and the SHobbit is the new Florence and the Machine.

A: NO. I love Florence and the Machine! Stop stop why.

M: They are bizarro FATM. GATS doesn't know how to play any instruments and the just hum Milli Vanilli songs instead.

A: NO. I want no association! Aren't they doing enough damage just being?

Can we just go back to talking about the hipster couple and how they should just switch pants?

M: Oh fine. Delicate flower. His hair gives me the heebs.

A: Do you think it's grown into that scarf?

M: Aaaaand I just puked in my mouth. Thanks for that.

A: I think he's one of those dudes who doesn't wash his jeans for months at a time to get them "just right." ALSO, he's one of those "I don't use deodorant because I don't need it" dudes, but HE DOES NEED IT.

M: I hate those guys.

A: I mean, maybe we're misjudging and they're really nice.

But I doubt it.

M: Not likely.

A: Her pants bother me SO MUCH. I can't stop being annoyed.

M: We should be nice. She might not have feet.

A: WHAT'S UP STUMPY?

M: But you ain't got no legs, Lt. Dan.

A: Oh no, what if she's missing an arm too? And that's why her sleeve is empty?

M: Oh, SHIT. We've been making fun of Fashion Torso. This is wrong.

A: We should be ashamed of ourselves.

M: We are going to catch hell for this. Do you think there's a Fashion Torso Foundation?

A: Why? Should we make a donation? Just because she's footless and one-armed does not mean she's not still an asshole.

M: Well, that's true.

A: AND, you know they're spending that money on Hermes bags that they use to cart around something unpleasant. Like patchouli oil.

M: Her lover (you know they say lover) want a custom hemp Birkin.

A: You are grossing me out.

M: I am grossing myself out. I want a shower. With soap.

A: Can't. Get. Clean.