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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Misuse of Animal Print.

M: I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THESE SHORTS

source: Sartorialist


A: I...Wait. I. What? NO.

M: Not to mention the one on the left lost her arm in a boating accident and might be a Fashion Torso now.

A: PUT YOUR ARMS IN YOUR SLEEVES PLEASE.

The shorts. They are...shiny? Or am I going blind?

M: They are very, very shiny. So shiny they distract from the SHIRT.

A: Ah! I didn't even notice the shirt! It's made of...garbage bags?

M: I feel like nothing is breathable...her lady bits are suffocating.

A: She's gonna get an infection. But on the plus side: waterproof!

M: On the minus: flammable! Or worse, melty.

A: She should not stand near any open flames. Or in direct sunlight.

M: My pits are sweating just looking at her. Seriously.

A: And wow, I'm not so sure about shiny animal print shorts with giant hip cargo pockets. Why?

M: They are pretty high waisted, too. I feel like I need someone in fashion to explain this to me.

A: Maybe there's a class or workshop?

M: Who do you think teaches it? Anna Dello Russo, I'm betting.

A: Ugh, or Alexa Whatsherface.

M: Well screw that, I'm not going.

A: I'll go if I get a bag named after me.

M: Hmph. Maybe. But it might look like those shorts and now we've come full circle.

A: Wait! I think that exists already:


M: NO!


A: Oh, those were so terrible. Such a grave disappointment.

M: Sad little plastic bags.
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7 comments:

  1. AshleyApril 27, 2011 at 7:21 AM

    Is it just me or does her outfit resemble the smock one would wear to get a perm circa 1987?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AndreaApril 27, 2011 at 8:04 AM

    Oh. My. Gosh ... is all I have to say... would make a good momiform though... might keep the stains off :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. CarrieApril 27, 2011 at 8:40 AM

    you forgot to mention she cuffed her shorts....you can see the "wrong" side of the "fabric"

    ReplyDelete
  4. AmblusApril 27, 2011 at 8:42 AM

    Carrie, I didn't notice it was deliberate until it was too late...though really, it's already too late because those shorts exist.

    Ashley, YES.

    ReplyDelete
  5. MegApril 27, 2011 at 11:29 AM

    Oh dang, those shorts remind me of Tarzan's loin-cloth.

    ReplyDelete
  6. dajana, all kinds of lovelyApril 27, 2011 at 9:20 PM

    I had a crappy long day at work but all my woes were forgotten when I read, "her lady bits are suffocating." I think I just peed a little in my pants. Thanks for the laughs ladies! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. ThirteenlbsApril 28, 2011 at 4:27 AM

    Hahahahaaaa! When I first saw the pic, I was like- is that leather? No, no it's not.

    ReplyDelete

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