M: I am confused. What season is it? Unless she is in Australia that seems like A LOT of clothes for June.
A: Her legs are...lizardy. Downright lizardy. I think somewhere Joan Jett is missing her pants.
M: I am so tired of these hoof-like platforms. So. Tired. Neigh.
A: I like her bag. It's spiky on the bottom. But that is a lot of texture-y animal skin going on in one outfit.
M: Her legs are distracting me. She's really pretty! Why dress like Godzilla with hooves?
A: I'm also tired of the hooves. And that sweater! It exhausts me just looking at it.
M: That is a Drinking Gin in a Ditch sweater if I've ever seen one.
A: That is actually my favorite place to drink gin! How did you know?
M: Because I am right there with you!
A: I'll scoot over and make room. This ditch has the best view.
M: What's that divine perfume you're wearing? I am catching notes of bus exhaust and just the tiniest note of...is that skunk?
A: It's opossum!
M: How exotic!
A: Actually, I think I'm sitting on an opossum nest. I wish I had some lizard pants - it really helps.
M: I never considered the protective qualities they might have.
A: Useful against ground bees too.
M: Those open toed hooves aren't, though.
A: Are you kidding? They're mad stompy!
M: But your toes are all exposed! No good.
A: That's what the spiky bottom of this bag is for.
M: I am skeptical, but it's your Possum Apocalypse. Possocalypse.
A: Opossocalypse? I like the added O. Fancier. Can you pass the gin?
M: Let me find the bottle in my hobo bag. Here it is, just under my harmonica collection.
A: Ugh, you and your harmonicas.
M: I am jaunty and fancy free!
A: You are also annoying me, Bob Dylan.
M: How many roads must a man walk down, before you call him a man? What does it all MEAN?
A: GIN PLEASE.
The answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind....
ReplyDeleteThose pants are unfortunate in so many ways. They get lighter right at the widest part of her thigh and makes her look like she has big thighs when in reality they're probably as big around as my arm.
I'm afraid to admit this but I like the Drinking Gin in a Ditch sweater. I sadly just let mine go as it was not as useful in a warmer climate than in frigid upstate New York. I, classy lady that I am, referred it as Grandpa Sweater though I like your moniker as well.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are nuts! I love it!
ReplyDeleteThe pants... a bit too long
Me... a bit too short for any of it
but I like it.
I, too, love the Drinking Gin in a Ditch sweater. It reminds me of the Grandpa sweaters my Grandma used to wear. Cozy!
ReplyDeleteThose shoes, though, make her look like a cyborg.
You guys know it's summertime, though, right?
ReplyDelete