Next time you see me...

M: ...I will have this on my head:

source: trendycrew.com

A: HEY! WATCH OUT FOR THAT TINY FUZZY METEORITE.

M: You could easily tell me that the photographer was throwing a pompom at her head and I would believe you.

A: It really does look like someone lobbed an ugly craft supply at her.

M: I think this would be a fun hobby, actually.

A: Regarding her pants. Bender asks, does Barry Manilow know she raided his wardrobe?

M: Bwahahaha.

A: But! I will gladly take those shoes off her hands.

M: I really don't understand the proportions or colors or anything here. The last time I felt this confused was when I read the latest J.Crew catalog.

A: Is that shade of yellow a Thing now? Because I don't know. Also: I can see her bra.

M: I think she WANTS you to see her bra. Also, countdown to someone saying that's the same shade of yellow as my beloved wedges in 3....2.....1. (IT'S NOT)

A: Ha! I know someone just scrolled down real quick to post that comment. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME COLOR COME BACK.

M: Please! There is a clear difference between my lovely, mustard-curry-yellow wedges and that baby poop blazer.

A: I THOUGHT THEY WERE OCHRE. I don't WANT to see her bra. Why does she want me to see it?

M: I am ignoring that. ANYWAY, that's her Fashion Bra, durh.

A: Ohhhh! You mean it's expensive. Fashion Math determines that if it can't be seen, nobody will know you spent $180 on a bra. Cost per view, as it were.

M: Exactly. This is pretty much the sole basis for the dumb sheer clothing trend.

A: Marianne, I hate to mention this, but I think you and she might be bracelet twins.

M: Hey, guess what? SHUT UP.

A: I was going to say that yours are cuter but I think now maybe I won't.

M: Haters gonna hate.

M: I was going to make you some BUT MAYBE NOW I WON'T.

A: I was just trying to be all half-full but NEVER MIND.

M: *hmph*

A: Don't you have some bracelets to go make?