A: Oh, Jude, buddy. What happened? Remember when he looked like this?
M: I know! I mean, what the hell. Is Sienna Miller a succubus? I'd like to have a moment of silence for this guy.
A: HI THERE:
M: Good gravy! And before people accuse us of just not liking him now that he's balding. I have NO PROBLEM with bald men.
A: Yep, that's not a deal breaker for me either. Something...happened to Jude. He just went creepy one day.
M: Sienna Miller is sucking his life force out of him. This is seriously like something out of True Blood.
A: She's a hotness vampire! With a perfect nose!
M: It's like The Picture of Dorian Gray, except with highlights and artfully tousled hair!
M: Now I am watching Alfie, and I swear he meets her and you can see the handsome being leeched right out of him.
A: I think there is more to blame here than Sienna. It really happened right around the time he cheated on her with the nanny. I mean, JUDE. Really? Then! He blamed it on her.
A: It's like he didn't want to be hot anymore.
M: The universe definitely doled out some justice there.
A: Farewell, Hot Jude. I don't think you're coming back.
M: No, you can't rebound from this sort of thing. See: Kilmer, Val.
A: Yeah. What happened there? He was so very hot for, like, ten minutes.
M: I'd say some definite deal-with-the-devil-gone-bad action:
A: Oooh, or maybe the Scientologi...
A: Hold on, someone is at the door.
M: ADRIEN?
A: :::::::::::
M: I swear, give me just ONE WEEK where I don't have to save you from a cul--oh, there's my doorbell!
Also on this list? James Spader. Dude? Just a few years ago in Secretary you were smokin' hot. What happened?!?
ReplyDeleteI'd hit it.
ReplyDeleteBald is not a problem in general, but he'd probably look really horrible (or rather, as bad) if he shaved it all off. I'm thinking under those remaining wisps of hair lies an oddly-shaped pinhead.
ReplyDeleteI think he also is maybe a bit too thin. Thin people don't always age as well.
ReplyDelete