Wintour of our Discontent

image: trendycrew.com/

M: Don't you just haaaate it when your Spanx peek out from under your hem?

A: No. I. Wait. What? Nothing. NOTHING.

M: And don't you just HATE it when you load your saddle bags improperly and you're all off balance and whoops! You knock over Anna Wintour and now you're dead.

A: I don't think Anna Wintour allows herself to be knocked over.

M: Well, by "knocked over" I really meant "breathed her air".

A: THAT IS NOT ALLOWED.

M: Quick: has Anna Wintour ever been seen wearing denim of any sort?

A: Not a denim VEST.

M: She would burn that denim vest with her eyes. She would DISAPPEAR that shit.

A: Can you feel the burn?

M: I just peed a little bit.

A: Did anything you're wearing just incinerate?

M: My eyebrows and one of my socks?

A: Only one of your socks?

M: It had a hole in it.

M: I'm scared.

A: You should be. Luckily, the freak nugget up there is distracting her with the visible Spanx/short/oxford/black sock/saddlebag/denim vest party.

M: Her hair is cute, though.

A: Oh, it is! She appears to be very attractive and...

image: trendycrew.com/

A: Um, never mind.

M: YOU ANGERED IT.

A: I'm... naked except for my shoes.

M: Those must be some nice shoes.

A: WINTOUR APPROVED.

Marianne: Quicklike.

I am making a weird face, need powder, then the camera battery died, so...yeah. 

The most I can really say about this outfit is that it was comfortable.

sweater: ancient J. Crew (similar here)
top: LOFT Stripe Dolman Sleeve Tee
belt: Forever 21
skirt: Gap (similar here)
tights: Spanx Tight-End Tights
boots: Frye Lisa (similar here)
necklace: Keen

Adrien: Well. That turned out great.

I have been slaaaaack over the vacation weekend and didn't take any outfit photos or anything. So, this morning I was determined to pull my shit together and make it happen!

So yeah, it's pouring down rain. And also my skirt is too big. And my camera is being a little bitch.

top: Gap tri-blend slub tee
jacket: Banana Republic (similar)
skirt: Semantiks (similar)
boots: Frye Veronica
bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs Hillier Hobo

Wanty, Black Friday Style.

A: I'm pretty anti-Black Friday but that doesn't mean I don't want things. Starting with, this:

Seasonal Decor by Anthropologie

Holy shit, could he be cuter? I don't think so.

M: Oh my god, that little guy just made my ovaries twitch! Here is where I admit that I am pining for this ridiculousness:

Seasonal Decor by Anthropologie

I KNOW.

A: Oh! That is crazy! I'd break that so hard and immediately, but it's really cool.

You know what's ridiculous? A cashmere sweatshirt. Which I want a lot:

Cashmere Sweaters by J.Crew

M: I know! It's freaking insane and I have a toddler and a dog. Recipe for heartbreak.

Ooh, I'll take that sweatshirt in 3 colors. It would go so great with theeeese:

Skinny Denim by Madewell

A: Oh, I would wear that outfit! I really, really would. You know what dumb thing I really want? Snow boots. Like, ridiculous, tall, furry snow boots. We get about 2 snow days a year.

Boots by Sorel

M: Those are some serious snow boots right there. My hearts desire are not as practical...and cost 4x as much. LE SIGH:

Boots by Lanvin

A: What? Not these?

Boots by Vivienne Westwood

HAAAAAAAAAA.

M: You just shut your fool mouth with those things.

A: YOU CAN BE A PIRATE.

M: But I don't wanna be a pirate!

A: Hee! But seriously, if we're going to go all crazy, I would like these:

Boots by Christian Louboutin

Because they are perfect. PERFECT. PERRRR. FECT.

M: Hold the phone, those ARE perfect! Sheesh.

A: I know, right? Everything about them is perfect. Except that they cost a trillion dollars. So, not perfect, I guess. *sob*

M: Kind of terribly not perfect. Now I am trying to guess what my husband would say if he laid eyes on the price.

A: I'm pretty sure mine doesn't know that boots can cost that much.

M: This, exactly.

A: We shouldn't tell them.

M: That's what the blog is for, duh.

M: I feel silly posting this after those boots, but I very nearly bought some grey snakeskin print leggings at the Gap the other day.




A: Mindy strikes again.

M: I mean, what the fuck. If they come in longs I might get them?

A: I, um, kind of love them.

M: Dude, they are kind of awesome.

A: They seem like something Kate Lanphear would wear.

M: YES.

A: We both need them. To wear...somewhere.

M: Work? Dare I? That ought to delight the commenter that already thinks I am inappropriate.

A: DEWIT MARIANNE.

M: You are using me as bait. I'm okay with that.

A: Do it for science!

M: Ooh, I love science!

A: Well, that's settled, then.

Adrien: Non-Tarty.

I do love some animal print but it's easy for it to go a little... tarty. When I wear something as deliberate as a animal-print pencil skirt, I feel the need to cover the rest of my body in burlap. Or, you know, a fairly conservative cardigan and low-heeled boots. But, I do like to add some color (like I did here back in the summer) to avoid being too monochromatic or something. So, here:

t-shirt: LOFT
cardigan: Banana Republic (similar)
skirt: Ann Taylor (similar)
boots: Camper (similar)
bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs Hillier Hobo
necklace: I made it myself.

Marianne: A Challenge.

Well, I did it. I wore open-toed shoes with tights and lived to tell the tale. Since I first got these shoes, I knew their mustardy yellow suedeness (it's a word) was screaming fall/winter, but let's face it. I don't live in a place where people are rocking the tights and open toes. And if they are, it's more likely to be Easy Spirits and L'Eggs.

What's funny is, I've worn these shoes approximately a half million times since I got them, but they have never gotten so much attention before. And not negative attention, either. It's like the contrast of the opaque black tights perfectly showed them off. I mean, someone called me fabulous. That's good stuff right there.

So, what do you think? Do you live in a world that's more Real Simple than Vogue? And do you dare wear the open toed shoes with tights? Do tell.

dress: Mara Hoffman (similar here)

tights: Spanx Tight End Reversible 

shoes: Chie Mihara Hito in Curry (similar here)

How Low Can You Go?

image: The Sartorialist

M: Is this girl wearing...a diaper? Bloomers?

A: Um, nice legs, but whither thou pants?

M: Is it a romper? A bizarre gathered mini skirt? NEED MORE INFORMATION.

A: It seriously looks like a pioneer diaper cover.

M: Another one for the Sexy Sister Wife Lookbook.

A: What gets me is that it's the same person in all three photos, so clearly she OWNS clothing that actually covers her body. Maybe she leapt out of bed in her Lil Orphan Annie nightie because she had to get the shot?

M: Now I am distracted by how she is standing. It's just so...vulva-forward.

A: Dude.

M: Tell me I'm wrong.

A: She's going to have to get lower than that if she's trying to get down to SHobbit level.

M: "Lower. A little lower. Just a bit more. Okay, just lay on the ground."

A: It's like a really sad game of limbo.

M: On like, the worst cruise ever.

A: Wait! Maybe she's wearing some kind of retro swimsuit? ...with loafers?

M: You say that like it's a reasonable alternative.

A: I'm just trying to make it make sense, Marianne. UP IS DOWN.

M: I don't know about you, but I can't wait to bust out a onesie this weekend. So chic!

A: I'm going to wear mine with open-toed booties.

M: Top things off with a chicken on a string and a miniature glass of wine, and you are an instant fashion legend.

A: Is that all it takes, really?

M: Oh wait, and a hat! Now you are ready. For what, I'm not sure.

A: Incarceration.

M: I think institutionalization is more accurate, don't you?

A: Hold on, someone's at the door.

Marianne: More from the depths of my closet.

This skirt was another $7 find in the deep discount pile at the Gap back in early May. And just like the last one, I totally forgot about it. And just like the last one, I totally kind of love it. And I think it doesn't even look like a skort.

It's hard to tell, but it has a similar paperbag pleated detail, but no tie, and it has pockets. I think it's super flattering. My kid is not impressed.

My husband's attempt at a detail shot. Hrm.

That's a little better. Anyway, I am totally wearing skirts like a grown up!

shirt: Forever 21 (similar here)

sweater: Guinevere (similar here)

skirt: Gap (similar here)

tights: Spanx Tight End Reversible

boots: Frye Lisa (similar here)

bracelets: Marc by Marc Jacobs D4 House of Marc Hinge, J. Crew

necklace: Diana Warner

Adrien: Just The Shoes

I'm going to be honest, this has not been the best week I've ever had and the weather has been horrible. So, when I got home last night (after driving on the highway in the pouring rain) it was the best thing ever to find an unexpected package waiting for me. My sweet friend Jennifer had a pair of shoes that didn't work for her, but she though I might like them and she was right. They are so freaking cute, y'all. Something about that fun pop of patent orange is cheering me right up. (Or at least making me not want to cry.)

The rest of my outfit isn't quite working for me today, but whatever:

 

cardigan: Ann Taylor (similar)
skirt: Ann Taylor (similar)
shoes: Camper Helena Alto
bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs Hillier Hobo
trench: Banana Republic (this year's version)

Man Alive.

A: It is a sad, sad world when Bradley Cooper is considered the Sexiest Man Alive:

M: It sounds like even Bradley Cooper thinks that is ridiculous. The only time I found him sexy was when he was speaking French.

A: Wow, I can get on board with that. Mostly, though, he just seems kind of douchey.

M: It works in French, though. But otherwise...meh. Give me Taylor Kitsch any day. Seriously, GIVE HIM TO ME.

A: Every time you mention him I have to struggle to remember who he is. So be my guest! HE IS YOURS.

M: Have you still not watched Friday Night Lights? We may not be able to remain friends.

A: Isn't it about football?

M: I haven't noticed.

and also:

A: Well, I guess I'm the one watching a show about time-travel pioneers living with dinosaurs because of him:

But if I'm going to be straight up, here's who should have won:

M: Now really, in what universe is Bradley Cooper sexier than Ryan Gosling?

A: THANK YOU RIGHT. No contest.

M: I think even Cooper himself would agree. I would have also accepted:

A: The thing with John Hamm is, while i adore him,  I only think he's really sexy as Don Draper.

M: I am completely fine with that.

A: Well, and there's this revelation.

M: Now all I can think about is Jon Hamm and his lack of unders.

M: Which I am also totally okay with.

A: Maybe this will distract you:

(with thanks to the Hairpin.)

M: *faints dead away*

Okay, I am back. There is none better than Paul Newman. I think this is my favorite:

Everything is my favorite.

A: Oh, YEAH. I'm not a huge Redford fan but man, that photo is everything that's right about the world.

M: That photo could bring peace in the Middle East. Has anyone tried that?

A: It might also be able to solve the financial crisis.

M: Obama, this is the key to your re-election! Call us!

A: WE ARE SO GONNA SOLVE WORLD PROBLEMS. (No really, Barry! Call us!)

M: Surely Michelle is a reader, right?

A: Um, yes honey. I'm sure she is.