Bespoken For.

M: Gwyneth is at it again. Damn it, I want bespoke cashmere things.

A: Eh. I bought her goddamn face brush. I have fed the Gwynbeast.

M: I think I just really like to say the word bespoke.

A: This reminds me of a ridiculous article I read in Vogue about Aerin Lauder's Aspen home and how simple and unpretentious it is. In the next paragraph they mentioned the cashmere-lined coyote fur rugs she has strewn about.

M: HOW IS THAT A THING.

A: I KNOW. I was all...

...

...

NO.

M: Okay. Okay. Coyote-fur rugs. Okay. CASHMERE LINED. WHY.

A: Because in Wildly Rich People Land even the drinking glasses are cashmere lined.

M: Cashmere lined toothbrushes! Cashmere lined soup spoons! I was going to make a joke about wiping their asses with cashmere but it's just too crass.  Oops.

A: Haaa. I wonder what their cashmere sweaters are lined with?

M: Unicorn tears.

A: Wouldn't that be damp?

M: True...they rub unicorn tears on sun spots. Their cashmere sweaters are lined with beagle puppy ears.

A: Beagle puppy ears are the softest substance known to man.

M: Man, rich people are kind of mean.

A: Mean, but lined in cashmere.

M: So soft!

A: Soft like the devil.

M: I bet the devil smells really good.