The Women Who Brush Goats.

A: I pretty much want to wear this exact outfit for the rest of winter:

image: http://www.luxirare.com

M: Yup. Perfect.

A: You know that goddamn awesome sweater probably cost $800.

M: It's probably BESPOKE.

A: sniff.

M: Blame Gooper.

A: What would you call that neckline?

M: It's like a crew neck and a mock turtleneck had a baby. A really soft baby.

A: I tried to google "funnel neck grey sweater" but this is what I get:

I think I need some kind of secret rich-person-Internet coupon code.

M: Why is that sweater trying to eat that boy? And why is he so calm about it? I saw an episode of The X Files that was like this.

A: The sweater injected him with a paralyzing neurotoxin, of course. Duh, Marianne.

M: It's ALWAYS neurotoxins!

A: So, what's the magic coupon code that opens up the search for The Good Stuff? It's okay, you can tell me.

M: It's cute that you think rich people use coupons.

A: Stop pretending you don't understand what I mean. I know there's a secret Internet. I mean, go to Saks and look at the sweater section. THEY ARE HIDING THE GOOD STUFF FROM US.

M: Right, we plebes just get these effing leather shorts AGAIN, SOME MORE:

jcrew.com

A: BUT THEY'RE ON SALE.

M: As are these, which are just. So. Um.

jcrew.com

A: Oh. Oh wow. Goats died for those.

M: Goats! What did those goats ever do to anyone?

A: Apparently they pissed off J Crew. Maybe they chewed on the bubble necklaces or something?

M: They probably started protesting all of the cashmere up in there.

A: Wow, that backfired. Make waves, get turned into ugly pants.

M: I almost made some kind of Babe-related joke, but stopped myself just in time. You're welcome.

A: You know the goats don't die for the cashmere, right? They just get brushed real hard.

M: I'm sure they just LOVE that.

A: Maybe they do. Maybe goats get itchy.

M: Cashmere goats? They are insulted you would suggest such a thing.

A: What if I offered to brush them with a Mason Pearson?

M: I don't understand why I am thinking so much about the inner desires of cashmere goats

A: I don't either, but I suspect it's because you have figured out how to access the secret Rich People Internet.

M: Is this what Gooper is thinking about here?

A: YES. UGH.