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A: ARE HIS JEANS UNBUTTONED SO DISTRACTING.

M: Oh. Oh my.

A: There goes my day.

M: You know he doesn't float my boat, but this. This is compelling.

A: Oh, to be Rooney Mara.

M: I think I might like him when he doesn't look at the camera. Then again I'm just staring at that tiny sliver of stomach showing. I want to poke it.

A: I'm mentally tugging on his belt like WHOA. BE OPEN.

M: Rooney Mara is all "Haaaaaa, I know. I KNOW. Girl. I know."

A: *whine*

M: Rachel Weisz will cut her.

A: I'm sure Weisz is directly off camera holding a shiv and wearing a dangerous smile.

M: I'll snap you like a twig.

A: It is just unholy to be that pretty.

M: After looking at pictures of her I am a shell of my former self. Wither goest, self-esteem?

A: Marianne! You can't look at her directly! Use your peripheral vision.

M: Too...late...save...yourself...be...happy.

A: Oh, so sad! (Can I have your bags?)

M: ...wha?...who?...I seem to be feeling MUCH BETTER.

A: That's how the Spanish Flu gets you! You start to feel better and suddenly you are dead. Derp.

M: Nope, feeling JUST FINE. But just in case I think I'll arrange to be buried with my bags.

A: Just selfish.


(With thanks to Working Closet for the inspiration!)