Dearth of Men.

A: It's Friday. There are no cute boys to talk about.

M: How is that possible. Should we sound the alarm on Twitter? Rally the troops?

A: On it.

M: Bring us the swarthy hot men, Internets!

A: First suggestion:

A: Visual aid:

M: Hmmm...he's a bit pale, no?

A: He looks kind of fragile.

M: Birdlike. Lovely eyes, though.

A: Very English. And you know how I feel about that. Moving on:

M: Eh. I don't know. Do I have Hot Boy ennui?

A: I'm a firm NO on Enrique. He just seems kinda douchey. Viggo is fine, I guess.  I found Daniel Day-Lewis so incredibly overbearing in Last of the Mohicans that I completely missed any hotness. We are hard to please. Next suggestion:

M: Okay, NOW WE'RE TALKING:

A: Well, hellllooooooo there.

M: Hot Boy doesn't seem to work for him. That is a Handsome Man.

A: Unh.

M: Yes. Yes, please.

A: Right? Nicely done, Wendy.

M: I was not a fan of The Wire, but I will admit I stuck with it longer than I should have because of Stringer Bell.

A: I've never watched The Wire, but maybe now I start. Yes.

M: They mumble a lot. I couldn't hear half of what anyone was saying.

A: I'm unconcerned about this.

M: Hell, put it on mute. Whatever. Hi, Stringer.

A: Totes. WAIT. He is British, Marianne.

M: Ssssssh.

A: When do the Olympics come back again?


M: Well, the Winter Olympics are in two years but they wear SO MANY CLOTHES! Booooooo.

A: WHAT.

M: I know. It's either this:

Or this:

A: SAD NOW.

Adrien: Regrettable Internet Purchases.

Now, y'all know I occasionally shop at Old Navy and find pieces I really like. I practically lived in this t-shirt all summer, thanks to Alison's recommendation. However, I always find items I like in store where I can try things on and feel the fabric for flammability. Blind Internet orders are a bad idea. Bad, bad, bad idea. I don't know what I was thinking. Here's what I got, all of it horrifying on me:

Jersey Pencil Skirt

This skirt? It is a tube of badness. I don't really know what else to say about it but that it left nothing to the imagination (OH I MEAN NOTHING) and I also couldn't actually walk in it. No. This one would probably have been a better choice. This dress seemed so cute:

Flared Jersey Dress

Until I put it on. It is made of a very stiff ponte-type material and the skirt kind of flared out like I was twirling except I wasn't twirling, I was staring at myself in horror. And the striped pattern at the waist was sewn all uneven and that just makes me crazy. Ugh. Finally, there was this:

Split-Neck Tab-Sleeve Crepe Dress

Which is the dress version of my favorite Old Navy blouse. I had high hopes, for this, you guys, and when I initally tried it on I thought, "Huh. Maybe?" Then I really started messing with it and it's just impossible. The waist hits slightly too high and there's this awful cheap liner that just feels terrible and rides up and NO. No, Old Navy. I am better than this.

So, yeah. What have you ordered online lately that sucked?

MORE NEWS ON OUR UPCOMING BOOK!

A: This interview does not make me like the SHobbit any more than I already don't like him.

M: So basically, he's better than the other street style blogs because he can afford to travel all over the world?

M: Also, ZERO mention of our help. None.

A: It's like we don't even exist to him.

M: I mean, honestly, you KNOW this will be the best part of his little book:

A: I'm pretty sure that's what his book is about, right?

M: Surely it's not just...more pictures of people? That's so 2009.

A: There is no way. NO WAY. It's definitely his photos paired with baby animals.

M: I can't wait to read the inscription. Do you think he will call us out by name or be coy? Something like:

"To A and M, who made this possible and are so tall."

A: SO TALL. Um, have you gotten your check from him yet?

M: I have NOT! The outrage! I am sure it's in the mail?

A: Marianne, I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this.

M: Perhaps we should stage some kind of formal protest?

A: Baby animals on stilts!

M: Put everything on the tippy top shelves!

A: Hem his pants even shorter!

M: Or don't allow him to hem his pants at ALL. That'll show him.

A: I like the way you think.

Marianne: A little shopping, a lot of photos.

So, I kind of fell off the map there for a while, didn't I? I've been...busy. First we went to the beach, and I don't really get dressed at the beach. Oh! Here I am in some clothes! The striped French Connection dress I've worn a million times:

Yay for stripes!

The beach was wonderful. Then we drove home and I left the next day for New York. And I actually did a great job of packing and should really try to recreate the outfits I wore there. Here is one of them, a crazypants Tibi dress that I found for 18 whole dollars at the magic consignment store (here's another bold patterned Tibi dress on sale):

photo: Justin Hackworth

I was in New York for work and was massively overbooked, so I didn't really do much in the way of shopping. Tragic, I know. However, my hotel was right across the street from the lovely Chelsea Market, which houses a huge anthropologie. Now, I know, we poke a lot of fun at anthro, but I found this dress and fell in love with it. You should check out the back, which is lovely and I failed to get a picture of.

I also got the trendiest manicure of my life.

So, what have you been up to? Do you think I can wear this dress into the fall? Because it's so ridiculously comfortable that I want to wear it all the time.

dress: Sky Trails Maxi (this pattern is sold out but it's still available in a bunch of other cute patterns. On sale!)
shoes: DV by Dolce Vita Caspian Sandal
bag: Su-Shi Old Skool Mini
leather tassel: Freshly Picked
ring: Miju and You

Battle Tinted Moisturizer.

Marianne is out of town this week and my photographer is on vacation, so lucky you! You get to read my reviews of makeup. Whee.

I'd been a long-time fan of Laura Mercier's oil-free tinted moisturizer until last winter when my skin was all, "Bitch, I AM DRY." So yeah, maybe not so much with the oil-free anything. So I bought Bobbi Brown's Extra Tinted Moisturizing Balm and it was great for the dead of winter, but far too heavy for summer. Le sigh. So, off I went to Sephora where this adorable little goth girl made up some samples for me to try. (If you're local to RVA, go find her - she's great.) Here's what I tried:

Hourglass Illusion Tinted Moisturizer 
Initially, I thought this stuff was great - went on like a dream and made me look all airbrushed and wow. Then, I caught my reflection in my car's vanity mirror on a sunny day and you guys? I was sparkly like a vampire. SPARKLE FACE GIRL. This is all fine and good for a night out but I don't want my face to be a disco ball at work and whatnot. And then, there's the price. $55 is flat out ridiculous. Also, the SPF is minimal. And! It's oil free which isn't what I wanted to begin with. Still, if it didn't cost $55 I'd probably buy it to wear for evenings out.

Tarte Smooth Operator
This came highly recommended from the baby goth girl and it's pretty nice, but I wasn't over the moon. I don't have anything awful to say about it but it didn't change my life either. It's light, decent coverage, only slightly over-priced at $36 and full of supposedly awesome ingredients. It's SPF 20 (meh) and oil-free (also meh.) If someone gave me a tube of it I'd certainly use it up, but I didn't feel compelled to purchase.

Josie Maran Tinted Moisturizer
I got a sample of this because Marianne kept raving about it. It's got argan oilin it which my skin likes and SPF 30, which I like. It's $38 for a tube which is about as much as I want to pay for a TM (which is funny because Laura Mercier and Bobbi Brown both cost more. Chalk it up to makeup counter snow-blindness.) This stuff is really very nice. Good coverage, dewy finish, very moisturizing. The color range is really limited but luckily the second lightest works well for me. I went ahead and bought this and so far I'm really happy with it.

So, that was exciting, no? What are you putting on your face lately that you love?

Please stop. No, really.

M: Oh SHUT UP HIPSTER BIKE PERSON SHUUUUUT UUUUUUP.

source: The Sartorialist

A: I love bikes but this kind of thing just irritates the shit out of me.

M: "If I shot this from the front I would feel like “Wow, that guy’s having fun.”

If I shot this from the front I'd have to punch him in the face.

A: Well, you know how the SHobbit feels about tall things.

M: Duuuuuude. You can totally reach the tippy top shelf on that bike!

A: He wants to be a hipster so so so bad.

M: He is naturally attracted to their capri pants.

A: His fatal mistake?  Thinking hipsters are cool.

M: Actually, his fatal mistake might be these pants:

A: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT MAN.

M: Is there a word for the opposite of Body Dysmorphic Disorder?

A: I would really just love the hipster bike culture to settle down a bit. And the ironic facial hair can stop, please. PLEASE.

M: But, Adrien!

A: I. Just.WHY. Do dudes just not care about getting laid anymore?

M: I don't know what gives you that idea.

A: What is wrong with you?

M: He just wants to talk. He's sensitive.

A: Done. I'm done.

Adrien: So Tired.

So, over the weekend Kate and I went to the mall and wandered around lamely looking at things we considered trying on but didn't. The shopping ennui, it continues. Now, as you probably know I like a dress - it's so much easier than separates and the right simple dress can be accessorized all kinds of ways. So, my goal was to look at some dresses with fall in mind.

First, we lamed our way into Banana Republic. It's...interesting in there right now. I think Kate summed it up pretty well when she said the current collection screamed, "Rich Lady Equestrian." Lots of chain prints and tie-necks. I did not, however, hate this:

 Julie belted sheath

The color is nice and the neckline is interesting. It would look nice later in the fall with tall boots and a jacket. But...$150 for a polyester dress, BR? Really. There was also this, which looked good in that "blank canvas" kinda way:

Lyla crepe dress

And then Kate pointed out this, which she'd seen in the window and thought might be a good basic fall dress:

Belted shift dress

I agreed... and we left without trying on a thing. (Update: Kate went back the next day and tried on the grey dress. Her take: "Unfortunately the thing is like a straight jacket.  I thought that I was going to need to get a salesperson just to help me get the dang thing off.  And it wasn't even very cute on." Booo, Banana. You lose again. But! I forgot. On the way out I saw this:

Trench capelet

And kind of loved it. I don't know, could there be a more useless garment than a caplet? But something about it makes me happy. (Probably because I secretly want to be an Equestrian Rich Lady.) Hmm.

Moving on, we sighed our way into Ann Taylor, expecting to be underwhelmed. There was some weird stuff on the sale rack that we considered briefly, but I was mostly trying to figure out what might be good for fall.

There was this:

Downtown Shift dress

And this one:

Crepe Side Drape Sheath Dress

And also this:

Layered Jersey Sleeveless Dress

Nice, basic work options, right? But not one of them has that extra something to make me want to try it on, to scheme, to wait impatiently for a discount code. All pretty forgettable. I probably should've tried them on, I guess. Yawn.

Then we left and got ice cream. The end.

Not An Endorsement.

A: Reader submission*!

Chain Bra Harness

A: !!!!!

M: This is a joke, right?

A: What? I was thinking about ordering one. It's a little pricy, but so unusual!

M: It's certainly attention-getting. Very Lady Guinevere's Braw.

A: Work appropriate, do you think?

M: That really depends on the job.

A: Haha, but seriously. This bra thing is $545. FIVE HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE DOLLARS.

M: I just checked to see if it was made of silver or something, but no. Brass. $545 for a brass and crystal bra necklace. The world just don't make sense.

A: Not even real brass, PLATED BRASS. The one review totally rings true. Not a shill at allllll.

M: The men just love it!

A: Totally supportive!

M: SUPPORTIVE. Do not even ACT like that...thing...has a purpose. This is making me mad. Like the whole ridiculous bondage harness trend is not stupid enough?

A: HATE HATE HATE THE BONDAGE HARNESS CRAP.

M: ME TOO. HOW CAN WE STOP THIS?

A: I think if we just close our eyes and think really hard THIS IS NOT A THING it will go away.

M: THIS IS NOT A THING
     THIS IS NOT A THING
     THIS IS NOT A THING IT'S STILL A FUCKING THING ADRIEN.

Chain Harness

A: THIS IS NOT A THING THAT IS MY FAULT MARIANNE.

M: I'm starting to doubt your commitment.

A: I...don't know what to say.

M: Just kidding. I'd never accuse you of being a Harness Supporter.

A: How did it even happen? Who in the what?

M: Blame the chain bra.

A: This is not an endorsement but if you want to do the leather harness thing, there's this:

ASOS Ring Detail Harness

A: The price is right.

M: DAMN IT GIRL.

A: I'M JUST SAYING.

M: BYE.

A: Oh, you're leaving? Do you want the product number?

M: *marianne is offline*


(*With our thanks to reader Christy for her most awesome submission!)

Shopping Ennui.

M: have you tried on the colored jeans at Loft? I am intrigued.

A: I don't know about these jeans?

M: Loft was talking about them on their FB page. They look possibly cute but I don't know. Where do I like to shop? Everything has been from eBay/consignment for so long.

A: I can't even remember when I was in Loft last. It's at the scary mall. I don't know where I shop anymore, either. Like, I used to be all BANANA REPUBLIC and now I don't even look at their emails before deleting them.

M: I feel like no one is making clothes for me right now.

A: ME TOO. I am way over Antho and BR and the Gap is just no and Ann Taylor has been weird lately. WHAT IS LEFT. Ross? Is that where I shop? Because now I'm sad.

M: The only new things I have bought all summer came from T.J. Maxx. I will say that I really like this dress, though I'm sure it would be a catastrophe on me:

Chiffon Feather-Print Shirtdress

A: I feel like that dress is one of those things that looks cute until you touch it. Flammable. I just went to the Ann Taylor website and saw this in the new arrivals section:

Marinella Print Cardigan

A: Related: I have set my computer on fire.

M: What in sweet hell is THAT.

A: I KNOW. I mean, what am I supposed to do? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO.

M: I think that Gabrielle Carteris wore that on 90210. With a Blossom hat and possible short-alls.

A: You are not helping. I have moved on to J Crew and I like this, grudgingly:

A-line ponte dress

A: But it's dry clean. And ugh.

M: Well that's kind of a perfectly pretty little dress. I keep looking at this one thinking it might be cute with cognac boots, but then I get tired and close the browser:

Cherry print blouson dress

A: Gap has been exhausting me lately. I don't know. I think I'm just going to keep looking at $500 Issa dresses on eBay.

M: That seems smart.

A: Is this what we've become? Where is our store? WHERE.

M: Where is it? Is it Zara? Oh god. I take that back:

Zip Front Jumpsuit

A: NO IT'S NOT ZARA.

M: Back to eBay?

A: I feel like we're giving up too soon. Maybe it's Madewell?

Silk Colorblock Boyshirt

A: NOPE.

M: Oh for fucks sake.

A: I'm just going to start wearing paper bags to work. I'll belt them, don't worry.

M: Just cinch it!

A: I hope it doesn't rain.

M: Maybe you need a sweet raincoat.

Cooperative Rain Poncho

A: I quit.

M: I fired myself.

Adrien: I Totally Called It.

Back in the spring I talked about how great this dress would look with these shoes. And dude, I was right:

I really love these shoes.

dress: Merona V-Neck Crossover dress (striped version too!)
shoes: Chie Mihara Trampa (another great pair of CM sandals on sale!)
belt: Banana Republic (similar)
watch: La Mer
bag: Pulicati (pricey similar) (inexpensive similar)

Marianne: Pre-Pre-Pre Fall Leather Jackets

What? If Adrien is allowed to talk about boots, I'm allowed to talk about leather jackets. Right? Right. Anyway, I have been wanting the perfect leather jacket for a couple of years now. You know that jacket? Perfectly cut, buttery soft, just the thing to take you through fall and early winter? Just tough enough to add a little rock star to every outfit. Oh, and affordable, too. Do you know where you can find this jacket?

NOWHERE.

Oh, sure, you can find this dreamy Rick Owens number, which is so Kate Lanphear I can't stand it:

Rick Owens Classic Biker Jacket in Black

It will just set you back a couple of mortgage payments. No big deal.

Here is another one I really like. I love the banded cuff and bottom, it's flattering and I feel like it makes it a bit more versatile. And this one is a steal compared to the Rick Owens jacket, but it's still $760 freaking dollars.

S.W.O.R.D. GOLD LIMITED EDITION Knit Bottom And Cuff Leather Zip Jacket

Mackage makes some of my favorite outerwear looks, very tailored with unexpected details. Their leather jackets are gorgeous and you can sometimes find them on sale for $350 (about 50% off) or so. That's still honestly more than I can begin to afford, though. SIGH. So pretty.

Magali

Before you tell me to check out "vegan" leather (meaning...not real leather), I'll just stop you right there. I know there are some convincing "leatherette" (god, that is a word now) materials out there, but I just can't. They don't feel right and they don't breathe, even if this is kind of cute and under $100:

BDG Vegan Leather Bomber Jacket

So, the hunt continues. I'll probably end up stalking something on eBay because I'm determined, and when I get determined about a fashion matter, watch out. Are you thinking about jackets already? Help be feel less crazy.