A: I KNOW I JUST CLICKED ON A SWEATER THAT COST $390 GD GOOP.
M: I WAS ALL, OOH! J. CREW! MAYBE IT'S RELATIVELY AFFORDA......MOFO $595 COAT, GWENNIE.
A: WHY DOES SHE DO THIS.
M: I THINK SHE HATES US.
A: SHE ABSOLUTELY HATES US.
M: I REALLY LIKE THOSE LEOPARD PUMPS. I'M CRYING NOW.
A: THE PENCIL SKIRT IS SEVEN HUNDRED AND NINETY EIGHT AMERICAN DOLLARS. WTF.
M: WHAT THE FUCK IS IT MADE OF, UNOBTANIUM?
A: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAHHHHHHHHH!
M: WHY CAN'T I QUIT HER?
A: WHY IS SHE SUCH A BITCH?
M: SHE IS SO PRETTY.
A: WHATEVER.
She's like Mitt Romney and thinks "middle income" starts between $200K and $250K.
ReplyDeleteYep, decided a while ago not to read GOOP anymore. Depressing.
ReplyDeleteGwyneth Paltrow is the kind of not-necessarily-malicious-but-ultimately-completely-clueless person I imagine inhabiting the Capitol in the Hunger Games. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteI nominate this as Most Awesome Comment of the Week.
DeleteI agree with this 100%.
Delete"Unobtanium" made me make a decidedly unladylike snorting sound. OMG ... genius.
ReplyDeleteMy loathing of Paltrow is rather petty, I know, but I really CANNOT stand her.
ReplyDeleteI just added that coat and shoes to my meager jcrew cart and now the total is $1127!
ReplyDeleteEven if I double our household income, I'm not even on the lowest end of Mitt's "middle class".
I feel very District 12 now :(. (definitely best comment Sarah M)
The median US household income is just about $50,000 (the mean, of course, is somewhat higher, since means for asymmetric distributions, such as the distribution of income in the US, are skewed towards outliers).
ReplyDeleteThat means 1/2 of the households in the U.S. make LESS than $50,000 a year.
Fucking Romney can go fuck off.
(I know, this is a fashion blog, but lately I'm full of hostility. It's an election year, I'll be back to gushing over expensive pencil skirt soon enough.)
"Unobtanium" is the best thing I've read all day. That is awesome.
ReplyDeleteGwyneth would totally live in The Capitol. But she would dress way better. Despite GOOP.com and clothing made entirely of Unobtanium, stitched by blind nuns and flown over to the US on the back of tame doves, I can't help but like her! Argh, what is this sorcery?!
ReplyDeleteOh y'all, I just finally saw "Contagion" Friday night and let me tell you -- IT WAS AWESOME! First Gwynnie looks real bad, AND THEN SHE DIES!!!
ReplyDeleteFTR, I don't actually wish her ill -- I just want her to fuck off, is all. But that was fun, real fun. :-)
Yes. Yes yes yes.
Deletei have no problem with gwenyth. she's rich so she blogs for the rich. i'm poor and i blog for people on a budget. it's just how it is! but i love your funny take on it. people need to stop hating (not you, obvi) on her just because they can't afford her lifestyle!
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