Like Therapy, But More Expensive.

A: I just had the most delightfully insane experience at the Armani makeup counter. Related: I now have a drag-queen level face. In a good way!

M: Ooooh! Sounds fun. What did they do?

A: Well, it started with concealer, which I'm always looking for. It was apparently a slow day because the makeup artist, who was SO NICE, did the corrector and concealer and then a little bronzer. Then eye shadow. Then highlighter. Then mascara. Then a different blush. Then more eye shadow. Then lip liner. Then a THIRD blush. Then lip gloss. I have a lot of makeup on but it looks really good and I did buy the (fucking expensive) concealer. And she gave samples and when I changed my address in the Saks system she sang, "Weeeee are neighbors!" She totally lives in my apartment complex. Heh.

M: You are cracking me up. It sounds exciting!

A: I think we got married in there somewhere?

M: Oh yeah, you are married.

A: I just looked up reviews of the concealer and was relieved to see it got high marks.

M: Oh, good!

A: My eyes look ridiculous. Ridiculous! I keep trying to take a photo for you but it's not working.

M: I love ridiculous eyes! Eye makeup is so hard to photograph though.

A: And she very gently told me what I was doing wrong with my eye makeup but was so nice about it that I was grateful? I am such a sucker for this shit.

M: Heeee.

A: It's like therapy except you get to walk out all pretty.

Armani Beauty High Precision Retouch Concealer

Note: While I do not recommend spending this much money on concealer I admit this one is pretty damn good.

Things Fashion Bloggers Do That We Have Never Done.

M: 1. Put on an outfit solely for the blog. (meaning, get all dressed up in an elaborate outfit for no reason, take pictures, then go back inside and dick around on the computer for the rest of the day)

A: 2. We never Photoshop editorialized quotes on top of our pictures. "It's pumpkin spice latte season! I'm so blessed!"

M: 3. Actually, I'll go with we don't Photoshop our pictures, period. Beyond cropping and adjusting lighting.

A: 4. Erm. Right! Yep, don't do that. Nope.

M: 5. Well, I've never made myself SKINNIER, via Photoshop. Paula Abdul style.

A: 6. It's probably a good thing I don't know how to use Photoshop correctly.

M: 7. Same here. I would totally shave off my hips if I could.

A: 8. I would be all smooth and symmetrical. That's natural, right?

M: 9. Totally, totally natural.

A: 10. We've gotten off track. We never wear outfits that are entirely c/o Some Company. (But, uh, I might if someone wants to send me free shit. But only if I liked it.)

M: 11. (Yes, let's not forget that We Are For Sale.)

A: 12. We don't do topknots, bubble necklaces, arm parties or posts entirely about our fingernail polish. (Hi, GOMI!)

M: 13. Nor do we make our OMG SO IN LOVE significant others pose in pictures with us.

A: 14. Oh, gross.

M: 15. And we don't pose with our hands in our hair unless we're making fun of poses.

A: 16. Die, pigeon-toes, die.

M: 17. Not to mention sneaker wedges and rompers.

A: 18. Jesus. No.

M: 19. Not ever EVER.

A: 20. We! Don't! Have! Capsule! Collections!

M: 21. What would even BE in our capsule collection?

A: 22. I don't even really understand what a capsule collection is.

M: 23. Me either. Are pills involved?

A: 24. Can we stop now? I'm tired.

M: 25. Me too. Let's go shopping.

Paltrow Wins Again

A: Goop Scrolldown!

M: I don't know how to say this...

A: You got me those sparkle boots for Christmas, didn't you.

M: I got them for ME. I love them. Don't yell.

A: This photo make me hate them less:

A: But still! I am not sold.

M: Look how happy she is! A happiness only glitter boots and the perfect red coat can buy.

A: Every single other thing about that outfit is perfection. Perfection! That red coat is romantic unicorn fairy love.

M: If you gave me that outfit I would spin around singing, Sound of Music-style.

A: It's really not fair. How come she gets to just be whoever she wants to be? How is she good at wearing everything?

M: Seriously, tomorrow she could come out in a Star Trek jumpsuit and I'd be all...it works.

A: I mean, which Jackson did she steal those boots from? Tito? Jermaine? It shouldn't work.

M: Girl those are straight up Ziggy Stardust.

A: Goddammit, now I like them.

M: She always wins.

A: I'm still not convinced she's pulling them off.

M: That's okay. In 2014 when we're all wearing glitter boots and skinny jeans we'll barely remember this.

A: Ugh. Damn you, Paltrow.

Ridiculous Giveaway Winner!

Sorry for the delay on this! Life gets in the way sometimes. Anyway, we had 65 individual reader comment entries and using random.org this is the winning number:

That makes bnheskelson at hotmail dot com the winner! Congratulations and we will be in touch.

We also wanted to thank you all for your kind and generous comments, sincerely. We always want to know what you think and really appreciate the feedback!

Marianne: Belt It

Okay! First off, thank you so much for so many sweet comments and congratulations.You guys make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And, I was excited to hear that quite a few readers are also "in a family way", and eager for some maternity styling tips. So, without ado, here is my first rule of maternity style: Belt The Bump.

I think early pregnancy is the hardest stage to dress. I'm 14.5 weeks along, and this is my second pregnancy, so I am definitely showing. But if I wear something that's loose, I just look...well, like I have eaten about 12 burritos. With extra cheese. It's not pretty. So in this stage, before the belly is literally ALL YOU SEE, my rule is to fake a waist by belting above the bump. By belting above the bump, you not only accent what's left of your waist (or fake that you still have one), you clearly look pregnant instead of chubby. When I wore this shirt suddenly everyone was like, whoa! You popped! But really, I belted.

Also of note, these awesome jeggings I'm wearing. Maybe you don't believe in investing a lot in maternity wear, and I am mostly 100% on board with you there. But there is one thing I do believe in: nice maternity jeans. I'm tall (5'9"), and I wear jeans several times a week to work, and on the weekends. For me, it's worth investing in a couple of pairs of high end maternity jeans. I have found the Paige brand works great on me (which is funny since when I'm not pregnant, I don't love this brand), and so I've bought two pairs off of eBay for less than half the original retail. There are great sales, too, as you can see here.

top: Old Navy 3/4 Sleeve Top (these are on sale right now and seriously awesome. I have 3!)

ribbon belt: J. Crew (similar here and here)

jeans: Paige Maternity Union Jegging (more than half off!)

boots: Frye Lisa (similar here and cheaper similar here)

scarf: J. Crew (similar on sale! here)

coat: BB Dakota (similar on sale! here)

Adrien: Theoretical.

This outfit worked in my head, it worked on paper, I thought it looked okay in real life, but maybe didn't work so well in photos. This sweater is one I've been wearing a ton, but mostly with skinny jeans because it's got volume. I thought it would work just as well with a pencil skirt, but it photographed kind of...droopy. Can win them all. But it's a great sweater, I swear! I like that it's got a wide neckline and it's a bit longer in the back, which makes it ideal for jeans. And the color is pretty much my favorite. Okay, I will stop now. What do you think?

sweater: Ann Taylor Merino Wool Sweater
skirt: Banana Republic (similar)
tights: Spanx Tight-End
boots: BP Trolley
bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs Hillier Hobo
necklace: Ann Taylor (similar)

God Bless Us, Every One.

M: 

A: HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO MEEEEEE.

M: FA LA LA LA LA

LA LA LA GOSLING

A: THAT IS MY FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG.

M: Colin Firth has something to say:

A: He's wearing his favorite holiday-themed jumper! Aw. And look who stopped by:

M: I feel like if David Bowie saw that, he would disappear you.

A: Hey, I didn't make it, I just found it. And reposted it. On the internet. Crap.

M: I love it so much. You know what else I love? This:

A: Aw, so happy! And BIG. Wow.

M: Santa is like, can you believe the chest on this guy? Speaking of Santa...Merry Christmas.

A: I hate you.

M: God, I love the Internet.

Gift Guide for People that Write This Blog.

A: So, if we did a gift guide I feel like it would really just be things we want for ourselves. Like, someone could totally buy me this:

House of Harlow Sunburst Necklace

M: Oh, I see no reason you shouldn't get that! Me, I'll take these, please:

Frye Veronica Shortie Boot

A: Those need to be yours. It would be a CHRISTMAS CRIME if they weren't.  I would like these boot which are out of stock everywhere and also really, really ridiculously expensive:

Coclico Windy Boot

A: But if someone really loved me enough they would track down a pair because boots = love.

M: God. I think those boots would make you a better person. My delicate toes would also like a pair of these, for winter hibernation purposes:

J. Crew Lodge Moccasin

A: Oh, those would be perfect for shuffling around the house in your robe. Very chic. I would very much like this iPad case in my life:

Kate Spade Glitterball iPad Sleeve

A: Also maybe an iPad to put in it. That would be nice.

M: THAT IS SO SPARKLY NOW I WANT ONE TOOOOO.

A: I KNOW. AND WHEN YOU GET BORED YOU CAN JUST TWIRL IT LIKE A DISCO BALL.

M: Sorry, distracted. Anyway, I found The Perfect Coat. Perfect for all your Kate Lanphear dreams and honestly more me than my badass leather jacket:

Zara Leather Biker Coat

A: Guh. Nnuf. Unnf.

M: It hurts my feeeeeelings.

A: It's just mean, is what it is. Mean. We should both get this to make us feel better:

Bobbi Brown Extreme Party Eye Palette

M: If there is anything I love, it's an extreme party.

A: I know, right? I am still waiting to be invited to one. I would wear this:

Alice + Olivia Mona Sequined Dress

M: You are the sparkliest. I'll wear this:

Isabella Oliver Sequin Tunic Maternity Dress

A: Oooh. Pretty.

M: Here is something practical! I don't want to do a dumb diaper bag for this baby, and need something my husband would be okay carrying. Don't you think this little stripey backpack is sweet?

Baggu Sailor Striped Backpack

M: See? It's not ALL about me! This is for the BABY.

A: Oh, that is practical! And very unselfish of you. I also want a practical thing, this gym bag:

New Balance Performance Duffle

A: My Lululemon gym bag is an unwieldy disaster. (I know, I know.)

M: See? You are just looking out for your health.

A: Seriously, I am. I wish there were such a thing as a really cute gym bag that's also functional. I have Gym Bag Issues.

M: Poor bunny.

A: It's very sad for me.

M: I'll pray for your plight.

A: Alas.

A Very Ridiculous Giveaway.

Hey there! As a thank you to our awesome readers we decided to do a fun beauty samples giveaway...and then promptly forgot to do it. This is to your benefit because the stash of giveaway stuff has grown during our time of slackness. So, now we have a Birchbox overflowing with awesome samples that we're giving away to one of you. I know it sounds a little eye-rolling, like THANKS FOR GIVING ME YOUR FREE CRAP, LADIES, but wait! There's some good stuff in this box, stuff we'd not mind keeping for ourselves.

You guys have been great about putting up with our nonsense and we almost never get shitty comments which is very appreciated. It's basically a bribe. Check it out:

Oooh, there could be anything in there! I will give you some highlights:

• 2oz bottle of Murad Clarifying Cleanser
• Deluxe sample of Lancome Hypnose Star mascara
• Deluxe sample of Make Up For Ever High Definition powder
• Deluxe sample of Sephora foundation primer
• Two foil packets of Smashbox Camera Ready BB cream
• Foil packet of Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation primer

And! So much more stuff that I will just let you wonder about. Why, there could be anything in there! Maybe a pony! (There isn't a pony.)

GIVEAWAY IS CLOSED! The winner will be announced on Wednesday December 19th.

Adrien: Phoning It In.

Sorry about the lack of timely posts lately - I'm sick and Marianne is SICK. It doesn't make for a very cheerful blog, but I did manage to clothe myself today and get a photo, so yay for that.

This dress is one I probably should retire but I keep giving it one last shot. It's basically a giant, shapeless t-shirt, but sometimes you just want to wear something that isn't all up in your business, especially when you're feeling gross and sound like a consumptive Demi Moore. With that glowing endorsement I shall now post the photos:

dress: Banana Republic (similar)
cardigan: Old Navy (similar)
tights: Spanx reversible
shoes: Coclico (similar)
bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs (similar)
locket: J Crew (similar)

UNDO.

A: One of our readers* sent in a most unfortunate Daniel Craig photo:

M: AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA


HAHAHA

SNORT

A: IT WAS THE 90S.

M: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A: IT WAS FOR A ROLE.

M: Heeeeeeeeeeeeee. Oh man, I think I am wheezing.

A: HERE:

M: Aw, Hugh Jackman is so smiley.

A: They make a really hot couple, don't you think?

M: Very attractive. They fill out those suits nicely.

A: I'll take it.

*With thanks to Francie!

Marianne: Context Clues

I bought this silk Anna Sui for anthropologie top on eBay, and I love it even though it's kind of shapeless, the design looks a bit like an alien is trying to escape my torso, and the sleeves have a "lunchlady arm" effect. And yet! I still love it.

Lu is really mastering her poses.

 I tried to get a good detail shot, but it was dark and we had to use the flash and everything looks kind of sickly and shiny below. You'll have to trust that it's a pretty top. Lots of fancy details that make it look expensive.

Flash photography is not your friend.

 It's been unseasonably warm, but I just can't go out in December without a jacket on. It feels wrong, okay?

top: Anna Sui for anthropologie, via eBay (another wildly patterned Anna Sui top here and similar vibe for less here)

jeans: Paige Union Maternity Jegging** (on sale! these are THE BEST EVER)

jacket: Doki Geki (fancy similar here and on sale similar here)

boots: Frye Melissa Button in Cognac

bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs Mag Bag (under $100 similar here and under $30 similar here)

**you catch that?

Adrien: Basically Free.

Another day, another Ann Taylor dress that was basically free. I bought this one a while ago and realized I'd never posted it, so here you go, slightly wrinkled from desk-sitting:

cute, right?

I needs a haircut.

my precious.

Dress details. And boobs. Sorry.

dress: Ann Taylor Everyday Sheath Dress
boots: Camper (dreamy similar) (slightly more realistic similar)
locket: J Crew (similar)
watch: La Mer wrap watch
bag: vintage Louis Vuitton (similar)

If You’re Thinking About…….Tippy Top Shelves

     source: The Sartorialist

Adrien: Black Monday

 I didn't so much do the Black Friday thing this year and I pretty much skip it every year, to be honest. I just don't like crowds and I really don't like getting up at the crack of dawn. Instead, I wait until Monday and paw through the dregs. Great strategy, Adrien! But in this case I think it paid off. I combed the sale racks at Ann Taylor to take advantage of the extra 40% off they were offering and got this wrap dress for practically nothing. They were giving clothes away, you guys. The color will probably work best for spring, but paired with charcoal and gold I think it winterizes pretty nicely.

 Did you score any great Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals? Do tell.

Vintage necklace c/o my mother

dress: Ann Taylor Wrap Dress (in winter colors here)
cardigan: Gap (similar)
tights: Spanx Tight End
shoes: Chie Mihara Serpan (similar)
necklace: vintage (very similar)
bracelets: Giles & Brother skinny railroad cuff
bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs Hillier Hobo

Marianne: Repeat.

***new stuff in the shop! Issa London! Vince cashmere! Run!***

I have a secret: leopard skirts trick people into thinking you've put effort into your outfit. It's true! For example, this is the winter (meaning: add tights, boots, and a scarf) version of an outfit I wore a lot this summer. The skirt has a stretchy waist and I felt like I totally phoned it in. But thanks to leopard, and hot pink lipstick (it's Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Lip Stain in Smitten, fyi) people seem to think I made an effort!

 

Lulu really wanted to show you her new coat and sparkly furry boots, and since I only managed one outfit shot today, I figured why not. Hi Lu!

 

skirt: unknown (fancy similar here and inexpensive similar here)
denim shirt: Gap (similar here and here)
cashmere circle scarf: Isabella Oliver (similar on sale here and covetable similar here)
tights: Spanx Tight End Tights
boots: Frye Lisa (similar here and here)
lips: Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Lip Stain in Smitten

Not Optional.

M: GIRL, WHAT.

source: The Sartorialist

A: I'M CALLING TO TELL YOU THAT YOU FORGOT TO WEAR PANTS.

M: No no, I remember getting dressed this morning and it went: top, belt...oh fuck.

A: I'm sure the stripper heels with ankle socks will distract people from your lack of pants. Wait.

M: Men keep muttering things to me. Asking me "how much". WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

A: I...really like your bag? Is that Mulberry?

M: Sure, it accents my Drinking Gin In A Ditch sweater nicely, don't you think?

A: I thought I smelled something odd. Now, listen.Your legs are completely amazing but it doesn't matter. You HAVE to wear pants. Ever day.

M: But.

A: EVERY DAY. EVERY. DAY.

M: I'm confused.

A: Your ass cannot be hanging out in public.

M: Except on Tuesdays. Right?

A: Duh, obviously. WAIT. NO. Tuesdays are not pants-optional! GIRL.

M: I have a headache now.

In Which We Quit The Gym.

A: That StyleMint dress I was forced to buy is such crap. It's really thin and has big pockets sewn in right at the hip. WTF.

M: Oh what the hell. I am SO DONE with StyleMint. We need to be brave and quit them.

A: I want to quit! But they make you call them. On the phone.

M: I knoooooow. What if they transfer you to one of the Olsen twins? I am scared of them.

A: I think the twins are more scared of you than you are of them. Those girls haven't answered a phone in never.

M: I think you're confusing Olsen twins with field mice.

A: I don't think I am.

A: Now PLEASE show me where it says this crappy dress has big bunchy pockets.

M: NOWHERE. Nowhere does it say, OR SHOW, that!

I wanna quit the gym!

A: But... I won't have access to thin, poorly made, droopy t-shirts!

M: We need to do this. WE NEED TO QUIT.

A: EVERYTHING YOU HAVE IN HERE IS VERY DROOPY.

M: I WANNA QUIT THE GYM!

A: A PACT. WE BOTH CALL STYLEMINT AND QUIT THE GYM.

M: YES. YES WE WILL.

A: AHHHHH.

M: Skeert.

A: Hold me.

M: Dammit.

A: And by that I mean I'm on hold.

M: Are you really?

A: Being brainwashed by weird new age-y music.

M: Adrien, I am scared for you.

A: HAIL XENU.

M: Goddammit, I just knew this would happen.

A: DEACTIVATING. THERE IS NO CANCEL.

M: Sigh.

A: Can I interest you in an E-meter? Only $29.99 a month, whether you like it or not.

M: I don't know how it always comes back to Scientology, but there you go.