Serious and Important Chat Convo. Not Really.

A: I'm finally watching Magic Mike and OMGGGGGGG.

M: Ha! I still haven't seen it.

A: That guy you love from Game of Thrones is in it. AND HE IS THE BEST PART.

M: Ooooh, nice. He's married to Lisa Bonet!

A: WHAT. Srsly?

M: Yes.

A: She gets all the hot dudes. Unfair.

M: She must be something else in the sack.

A: She better be or I'm gonna be mad.

M: Mojo vaginer.

A: I'm enjoying this movie more than I thought I would.

M: I'll put it in my queue.

A: Like, unironically.

M: Har.

A: I still think Channing Tatum is weird looking.

M: He's not fully formed. But a good dancer.

A: Matthew McC wears leather pants a lot.

Leatha

M: I like THAT.

A: He is the best.

M: Indeed.

A: Wait! Not the Game of Thrones guy, I meant True Blood guy.

I'm the one on the right.

M: Oooh, he is also very good. But not married to Lisa Bonet.

A: Joe Whatshisface.

M: Mangiawhatnot

A: He's SO good.

M: He is delicious.

A: They keep putting him in the back row because he's 6'5" which is awesome and also bullshit. FRONT OF STAGE.

What the crap, right?

M: Lets make a new stripper movie all about HIM.

A: OKAY.

M: I would climb him like a tree.

A: He's a redwood.

M: Unh.

A: Yars.

Marianne: My New Favorite Drugstore Mascara

If you've been paying any attention at all, you know I love mascara. Especially drugstore mascaras, because I have sensitive eyes and replace my mascara often, so I'm honestly not about to spend more than $10 on it. Being a mascara addict makes me a sucker for new products, so when I saw the newest offering from L'Oreal, their Telescopic Shocking Extensions Mascara, I had to try it. Come on. SHOCKING EXTENSIONS? Let's do this.

L'Oreal Telescopic Shocking Extensions Mascara

Right away I can tell you that if you found my old favorite, L'Oreal Voluminous False Fiber Lash, difficult to apply, you'll like this product a lot more. In fact, I found this to be most like a combination of the False Fiber Lash and CoverGirl's Clump Crusher, a mascara I love for the ease of application but find lacking in the drama department (Adrien and I reviewed them both here). My only complaint about applying the Shocking Extensions mascara is the wand is a little bit long and a tad floppy, I prefer a shorter, firmer brush like the Clump Crusher. But enough of that, let's look at a photo, shall we?

Left, no mascara; Right, mascara (duh)

Well, that's a kind of horrifying picture, but anyway. It's hard to take selfies of your eyeballs. I love that you get a lot of length from this mascara, without it clumping up. It stays put well and stays nice and black with no fading throughout the day, and it removes easily with my favorite eye makeup remover. Overall I'm really pleased and it's definitely my new favorite mascara.

Adrien: There's a Lot Going On Here.

This is such a great dress and it makes me feel good every time I wear it, which isn't often enough. I was really happy that my new blue bag coordinated with it so well and then I assed it all up with my (super! Awesome!) eBay-purchased Chie Mihara wedges. They are SO HIGH, you guys. I love them though. Love love love. I might feel differently after I fall in them (and I will) but for now it's a happy relationship. Even if they don't quite work with the dress. Too bad. Don't care.

Pretttttty shoooooes.

Sooooo highhhhh.

dress: Issa London (similar patterned dress) (another great Issa dress)
sandals: Chie Mihara (similar gorgeous red wedges)
bag: Marcy by Marc Jacobs (another cute bright blue tote)
necklace: Forever21 Spiked Crescent Necklace

Fancy a Swim?

source: http://00o00.blogspot.com

A: Long weekend coming up and the pool's open. Want to go swimming?

M: OKAY JUST LET ME GRAB MY VICTORIAN BATHING COSTUME BE RIGHT THERE.

A: Victorian who in the what now?

M: I am not exactly in bikini shape.

A: I don't know, this guy looks pretty fit:

M: Looking pretty smug in your KNITTED swimsuit, dude.

A: Um:

M: I'm sorry I even brought this up. Can we go back to Mr. Red Trunks up there? He needs my help adjusting things.

A: THE LEGS ON THOSE MEN. I can't get over it!

M: They work out.

A: Yes. And Mr. Red Trunks clearly does too. And he needs help. Marianne, HELP HIM.

M: STAND STILL YOUR TRUNKS ARE ALL BUNCHY.

A: SAY THAT AGAIN. SLOWLY.

M: BUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNCCCCHHHHHYYYYYYY.

A: AWWWW YEAH IT IS.

Fail = Still Funny.

source: Trendycrew.com

A: I wonder what it's like to have skinny jeans fit you like that? And also what it's like to have a Marc Jacobs bag named after you? And does she cry real tears or just glitter?

M: I don't think she cries. Like, ever.

A: I would cry if someone did that to my hair.

M: I apparently cannot think of anything else to say right now.

A: Do I need to find someone more offensive?

M: I don't know, I just can't think of anything else to say about her.

A: We can try tomorrow if you want. Assuming you're not, like, in labor.

M: Okay. I don't know what's wrong with me.

A: You're fired.

M: YOU CAN'T FIRE ME I QUIT.

A: YOU COULDN'T QUIT ME IF YOU TRIED.

Marianne: My (Fake) Clarisonic and Me.

Remember when I accidentally bought a fake Naked 2 Palette? Those were good times. I have since replaced it with the real deal (which I genuinely love and wear Every. Day.), but the fallout from my accidental fake shopping spree didn't end there. Before realizing that Sharing Spree was selling fakes, I also bought a half off Clarisonic Mia from them (that link is to the real deal, on sale for $30 off at Macy's).

CLARISONIC 'Mia' Sonic Skin Cleansing System

Now, this was a good fake. Unlike the Naked 2 Palette, there was no reason for me to think it wasn't real, other than not trusting the seller. So I did the only thing you need to do to verify that your Mia is real: I called Clarisonic to register it. And lo and behold, it was fakety fake fake. Sharing Spree gave me my money back and then declared bankruptcy before I could return the fake Clarisonic to them...so what to do?

Well, after letting it sit on my counter for a month, I have started using it. I wash with Cerave Hydrating Cleanser every night and then use the fake Clarisonic, following up with Cerave moisturizer. And my skin is loving it. Acne scars are fading, fine lines are getting a little bit finer, and my pores are smaller. It makes me feel like I wasn't really getting all of my makeup off before. I love it enough that when this fake Mia breaks (which I have heard from friends it will before it's even time to swap out the head), I'll replace it with the real deal (probably from that very link to Ulta, because that's a good price).

So, there's a not very helpful review of a fake product, but at least I know now that I would most likely love a real Clarisonic and I'm not out any money. And unlike using fake makeup (which could be made of god knows what and really hurt you), I don't think this can damage my skin in any way. Do you have a Clarisonic? What do you think?

It's Not a Rut, It's Giving Up.

M: I mean how many pairs of animal print accent flat sandals does one person need? Sigh.

Sam Edelman Gigi

A: Well, those are pretty damn cute.

M: I have some kind of flat t-strap sandal problem?

A: I wish the Dolce Vita pair we both have was more comfortable.

Ouch

M: They don't hurt me like they do you, but they definitely aren't my most comfortable sandals, by a long shot. I really need to replace my plain gold Ann Taylor sandals that you sent me. I've worn those to death.

A: Oh, my pair of AT sandals are pretty raggedy. I keep wearing them.

M: Me too. I can't quit them.

M: I'm kind of annoyed that I didn't buy that Gap pintucked dress I linked to, because it is now of course sold out.

A: I clicked on it right when you posted about it and it was sold out then too. Stupid Gap.

M: It does come in a different fabric that I would ruin instantly:

Gap Pintuck Dress

A: Cute! I would put that on and immediately spill coffee on it.

M: But man, I just want to swan around in that all summer with the baby.

A: Or! I'd decide to have marinara sauce for lunch.

M: The baby would poop on it or something terrible.

A: Ew. Or I'd be all, "YAY. Cherries are in season! Oh."

M: I am half considering buying it and dyeing it after I stain the fuck out of it.

A: That's not a bad idea, actually. Except for the dyeing part which I'd never actually do.

M: Oh for fuck's sake, I went to add it to my bag and the last one sold out. WhatEVER.

A: Store search?

M: Not available in stores. Ugh. I have birthday money to spend.

A: I ordered a couple of sale dresses from the Gap last week that I'm pretty sure I'll end up returning:

Gap printed shift dress

Gap Harbor jersey half-sleeve dress

A: I don't like anything.

M: I keep thinking I should go ahead and get a couple of things for after the baby comes but ugh. Shopping is a drag right now. But it will be worse then, so. Screwed.

A: Oh, you have my sympathy. I don't even know. Mainly what I'd like is a couple of cute summer tops that aren't t-shirts. Or dry-clean only.

M: Well those don't exist.

A: They really don't. I SWEAR TO GOD.

M: I believe you! Clothes are stupid and I quit.

A: Just out of spite, I bought a couple more of those Old Navy vintage tees that I like. THAT IS PLENTY DRESSY I GUESS.

M: Heh.

Adrien: Lotta From Stockholm Clog Sandal Review

Hey, it's Monday you guys. That means my outfit has to be simple and comfortable because I can't really think past that on Monday morning.  I do love this People Tree dress of mine (worn here previously.) It's not the fanciest or anything, but it fits well and it lends itself well to accessories on days when I can pull my shit together.

Not quite pulled together.

So, as you can see I got my awesome man-repelling Lotta From Stockholm High Heel Peep Toe Clogs and I dig them. They are very Euro and truly are the kind of shoes women love and men loathe but who asked that guy? He can shut up because nobody, that's who. I'm not sure I'm 100% sold on the awesome comfort of walking on a block of wood, but so far they're not causing me any pain and I love clomping around in them.

Totally cute! 

 And, they are really quite well-made. Solid wood, thick leather, very nice indeed. I have no complaints. And they basically kick Swedish Hasbeens ass when it comes to price (assuming you're not Marianne), so there's that nice fact.

What do you think? Are you pro-clog sandal or did you just make a face?

dress: ASOS People Tree organic cotton skater dress (similar cute striped dress)
necklace: Banana Republic (nice similar) (inexpensive similar)
sandals: Lotta From Stockholm High Heel Peep Toe Clogs
bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs Hillier Hobo

Double Trouble.

M: Ugh, we promised double cute boys and I've got nothing.

A: I KNOW. This is my fault. Let me think a second.

M: The universe needs to step up and throw some attractive men at our feet. Must we always do all the work?

A: You rang?

M: That my friend is a cop out and only one person.

A: FINE. HERE:

M: I cannot even take that seriously. I am in a Mood.

A: ?

M: THOSE HATS. STOP.

A: YOU ARE MADE OF STONE.

A: This. For you.

M: Okay, that's certainly adorable but would we call them cute? Can we even call them cute without being arrested?

A: That was just to get you out of your bad mood. They are adorable! And (I believe) legal!

M: I do appreciate their enthusiasm but they are NO HENRY CAVILL.

A: There is only one of him, though. AND WE JUST DID HIM.

M: He's ruined me, I'm afraid.

A: Understandable, but he's still only one guy.

M: FINE, HERE ARE TWO GUYS SO THERE.

A: Well...that works for me. A LOT.

M: The more the merrier, etc. and so on.

A: I had no idea there were two of him! So convenient. For us.

Marianne: New Accessories Always Fit.

Here's the thing. I am 36 weeks pregnant and running out of clothes that y'all haven't already seen a million times before. And after 9 months, I MISS SHOPPING. I miss shopping and new stuff and I'm so tired of maternity clothes and WHINE WHINE WHINE. But you know what always fits? Bags and shoes, y'all. Bags and shoes.

Sorry about the wrinkled dress, I couldn't see them.

Adrien found this Marc by Marc Jacobs straw and leather bag for such a deal I don't even want to tell you about it, because it will cause the rage. She sent it to me for my birthday and it's true love.

And these SHOES! Because I have the best friends ever, these were also a birthday gift. My girl Lili sent them to me and they are so comfortable and so much fun. The leather is super soft and floppy and they remind me of the kind of sandals you'd pick up on a summer trip to Spain that everyone would hate you for. Only $50, too.

Oof, would you look at that belly? I'm tired, y'all.

dress: Motherhood (maternity similar and super cute non-maternity polka dot dress for under $40!)
necklace: House of Harlow locket (another adorable locket on a long chain)
bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs Hayley Straw Tote (another yellow Marc Jacobs tote and this yellow straw tote is under $50)
shoes: Zara Leopard Print Sandals (check out these blue sandals and I love these leopard sandals too)

Adrien: Straight Talk (AKA My Curl Talk Rebuttal)

Marianne warned me. She said that the curly hair post was going to get a crazy response and holy crap, you guys. She wasn't kidding. I don't think we've ever gotten comments like that! I completely love it even if I don't come close to understanding. Y'all curly heads are a touch crazy, is all I'm saying.

So, as someone on the far other end of the hair spectrum, I feel I should represent. It's time to give my State of the Straight Hair Address to follow up the last post I wrote about it back in January. Yes! Straight, fine hair is no picnic and in it's own way is just as high maintenance, just as frustrating. I'm still growing mine out but I don't really know why.

The longer it gets, the harder it is to do figure out what to do with it. I mean, I still have short hair, this I know. (But I'm going to pause right here to bitch for a minute about how little help us short-hairs get. For instance, this article. Bitch PLEASE. If your hair is touching your shoulders it's not short. Call it medium length if you must, but IT IS NOT SHORT. I WILL SHOW YOU SHORT. UGH. Am I right?? Okay, sorry, I'm done.)

I've stopped attempting to get volume out of my hair because it's completely impervious to volumizing products unless I use so much that my hair becomes a tangled, sticky mess. Instead, I've been trying to work with it and go as straight as possible which is really the only style I like when I have a bob. If I don't flat iron it after blow-drying it gets weird derpy little flips and curves that are very precious and very not me. Also, I have to shampoo it every damn day because otherwise it's just lank and sad. See? Straight, fine hair is a pain in the ass.

My current routine:

I shampoo with Aveda Color Conserve, towel dry and spritz on Bumble & bumble Tonic:

Bumble and bumble Tonic Lotion 8 oz.

I comb that through and then spritz liberally with Aveda Volumizing Tonic:

Aveda volumizing tonic

It doesn't really volumize at all (seriously, not at all)  but does give some hold and it smells nice. Then I rub a tiny bit of Aveda Defining Whip Through the ends and blow dry with a round brush (as recommended to me by a commenter on my last hair post.)

Aveda 'light elements' Defining Whip

After it's completely dry I flat iron the ends and my bangs so they're totally straight. (An hour later the ends will curve in again as if they've never even heard of a flat iron. See photo below. I ask you.)

The end result is...boring, but sleek:

 If I really take my time with the flat iron I can make it look pretty good and edgy, but I rarely have the time to do it. So... I'm back to considering going short-short again:

I kind of miss having fun, short hair but I've never really let my hair get long, you know? I don't know what to do. Help me, Straight Haired Girls. What should I doooo?

Marianne: Shopping for AB (After Baby)

Suddenly I find myself 35 weeks pregnant, summer is right around the corner and I know what I'm facing: dressing myself for when after the baby comes. Because here is this thing: nothing you own already works for at least 3 months after you have a baby, if not longer (especially if you're nursing). The few things that fit won't be nursing friendly, and even if you haven't gained much weight your body is completely different. And that body is always changing, so the last thing you want to do is spend a lot of money on clothing. Fun!

With my budget and nursing/postpartum needs in mind, this is my dream AB (After Baby) wardrobe for the summer.

I'm mostly all about dresses, but I'd like the option to throw on a lightweight button-down shirt and some loose shorts, for walks to the park.

Women's Lightweight Printed Shirts

Women's The Sweatheart Denim Shorts (5")

But dresses are really the answer. I love maxi dresses because they cover any swelling you might be dealing with (I don't swell when I'm pregnant but blow up like a balloon afterwards).

I love the henley neckline of this dress (perfect for nursing!) and the tomatoey color:

Henley maxi dress

This striped crossover dress is cut a little low, but I'd try layering it over a nursing tank:

Striped crossover dress

This jersey dress from Target looks like postpartum perfection, the kind of dress you'd want in every color. I'll definitely be buying this one.

Mossimo® Womens V Neck Sleeveless Maxi - Assorted Colors

Another great jersey maxi from Target, it would be so easy to slip those shoulder straps down to nurse, yet they are wide enough to wear a real bra under.

Mossimo® Women's Crossover V-neck Maxi Dress - Assorted Colors

I am super intrigued by this Target Multi Wrap convertible dress. On the one hand, it looks kind of complicated. But it could be awesome? Has anyone tried this?

Mossimo® Womens Multi Wrap Maxi Dress - Assorted Colors

In the non-maxi realm, I am quite taken with this Chambray Embroidered Pintuck Dress from the Gap. It looks like the perfect thing to wear when you are feeling soft and squishy and a bit fat.

Chambray embroidered pintuck dress

I've only just started window shopping for this next phase in my sartorial life, but I think this would be a great start. With coupon codes none of these dresses are much of an investment, and they would keep me from feeling completely schlumpy all summer. What do you think?