Goopy Gift Guide.

A: Did you see the Goop Annual Gift Guide? I mean, I hate! And yet... I think Hermès playing cards would be a very lovely gift for someone to give to me.

M: I am trying to muster up the snark BUT I WANT ALL THAT STUFFFF.

A: ME TOO. It went like, "This is RIDICULOUS....LY CUTE."

M: I WANT MONOGRAMMED SILK PAJAMAS YES I DO.

A: I WANT A $500 BLINKY "A" LIGHT. I DID NOT EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A THING.

M: This is just so ridiculous and I covet it with my whole heart. DAMN YOU GOOPER.

A: Ugh, and how cute is this:

A: I mean, without Gooper's initials on it of course.

M: I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SEND YOU THAT LET'S GET TWO.

A: I'M GOING TO BUY ONE FOR THE HOUSEKEEPER TOO.

M: EVERYONE! WHY ARE WE YELLING?!

A: IT'S FUN. I WANT A DODOCASE FOR MY IPAD. AND ALSO AN IPAD FOR MY DODOCASE.

M: I MEAN WHY THE EFF NOT

A: I do not want a hand-cranked espresso machine because that sounds like work.

M: No I'd rather someone else do my cranking. That sounds dirty.

A: I actually like the dumb stuff too, like the porcelain face candle.

M: I don't really need a football though.

A: I absolutely do not need Anthropologie animal heads.

M: See, we aren't greedy.

A: No no no! We just want the things we actually need.  Like tippy cognac glasses.

M: And cobalt blue sunglasses. They are protective!

A: And monogrammed table linens because...wait. I got no place for that.

M: Well, it's fancy.

A: I think it's too fancy for me.

M: You're too fancy for it!

A: F'ing Goop.