Adrien: Casual Monday

I'm just wearing jeans to work all crazy-like because who even cares anymore? At least they're trouser style jeans (in my case Paige denim) which seems to not be a thing right now. Don't people get tired of skinny jeans all the time? 

I'm wearing them with my grey Tippi sweater and my red Chie Mihara mary janes. (Long sold out, but these are a good alternative.) My bag is an oldie too - my MBMJ Mag Bag (but ugh, I want this one!)

The best thing I'm wearing is these awesome Kendra Scott earrings that Marianne gave me for Christmas:

I love them! Such a nice gift. She's the best. Here are some bag 'n shoe details:

Reader Request: Impossible Bag Wishlist.

My friend Wren recently emailed me the following request:

My beloved taupe leather hobo recently experienced fatal hardware failure, and I haven't been able to find anything to replace it. Help me before I go out and buy a cotton tote bag and give up forever! I'm a one-bag girl, which makes it extra difficult. I'm looking for something that works every day with an army jacket and casual black moto boots -- but will also work if I'm wearing a cocktail dress with heels. And in a neutral color that goes with everything!

Material: Leather, but not suede. Something durable but also soft. Not a fan of pebbled leather. Shape: I usually gravitate towards a hobo style with 2 pockets on the outside. I like a kind of cool, slouchy vibe. No fold-overs -- that just gets in my way. And I want to be able to carry it over my shoulder.

Size: Can it be sized for a normal human? I don't need to carry luggage around on my arm every day. (This is the thing that eliminates the most bags from my search)

Color: Taupe, greige, red, eggplant or burgundy -- those are the colors I gravitate towards. Something I can wear with black and brown shoes. But, I'm open to blue or teal or green or something else bright.

Price range: Less than $500. I'll carry this for years and cost per wear will be fractional, but I'm the girl who throws her bag down on the restaurant floor so it can't be too precious. If anyone can help me, I know it's you!

You guys know I am NOT a one-bag kinda girl, but if I was forced to only have one, it would absolutely be my MBMJ Hillier Hobo, which is the first bag I thought to recommend. The Hillier is a comfortable bag to carry, works as a crossbody in a pinch, and the size is perfect for every day.

I really like some of the current colors, like this purply brown:

And MJ does taupe-y colors like no one else:

If the Hillier is too pebbly, the Too Hot to Handle bag is a dressier alternative:

Oooh, teal! And bonus, it's on sale. Another bag that immediately came to mind is handmade and only available on Etsy. The Opelle Ballet gets high praise and it's easy to see why:

That leather! So beautiful. (It might skew slightly too far into pebbled territory, but I love it.) It comes in a couple different colors (and sizes!) but I think the grey is the most interesting.

Those are my top picks, but I also found a few other strong contenders. The studs on this Loeffler Randall Hobo give the simple shape a little edge:

This one might be a little too delicate for her needs, but I love the streamlined quality of this Botkier Valentina Hobo:

The Kooba Jonnie hobo looks like the perfect every-day option and I LOVE this wine color:

The tough details are the best thing about this Milly Riley Bucket hobo:

I do wish it came in more interesting colors, though. Finally, this cobalt blue Linea Pelle hobo is the prettiest thing I've seen in a while:

A bag that color is never a mistake! Gorgeous.

Alright, that's what I have! With any luck, one of these will find it's way into Wren's arms but I'm hoping you guys will have some great suggestions too.

Adrien: Party Dress

I wore this Banana Republic dress to a holiday cocktail party and again to work for our yearly holiday lunch outing. I can't tell you how much I love this dress - the shape is so flattering and no Spanx are required so you can eat all the cookies. ALL THE COOKIES.

freezing

not freezing

The coat I'm wearing is DVF via Saks Off Fifth (the story is here) and for some reason I didn't wear it much last winter. This fall I decided I was going to wear it every chance I got and that's what I've been doing. It's so good! If I could have another DVF coat, it would be this one.

boob deets

I love that the decorative neckline means that I don't have to deal with much in the way of jewelry. For the cocktail party I wore it with this awesome bracelet, high heels and black fishnet patterned tights.

My boots are Loeffler Randall and I'm carrying my red Hillier Hobo (on sale here!!1). The awesome silver bracelet was a really sweet gift from Nina.

Hope y'all all have a great holiday!

It Is As We Suspected.

A: Baby eats sugar-free Popsicles for a treat. I'm so sad for him.

M: Also known as: This Is Why I'll Never Have Abs.

A: It just got sadder and sadder the further down I read. Poor thing.

M: He drinks whey protein when he is craving waffles. Honey.

A: That is a goddamn tragedy right there. A TRAGEDY.

M: I really appreciate his sacrifice, though. Like...really.

A: I SAID DAMN.

M: Drink that whey protein, boy. DRINK IT.

A: I just slapped a waffle RIGHT OUT OF HIS HAND.

M: Snort. NO WAFFLES FOR YOU. Have a popsicle.

A: But just one! Don't get greedy, pretty boy.

Gift Guide For Your Sporty Spice.

Oh God, can you stand one more? This is really more of a "list of things Adrien loves and/or wants" rather than a strict gift guide, but I figure it would help if you're looking for a gift for the Mel C. in your life. Plus, if you'll remember from this post I am really picky about athletic apparel and equipment because so much of it is odd or just super-terrible.

First, I have to give some love again to my favorite sorta-local cycling apparel company, Road Holland. I'm still a huge fan of my Harlingen jersey and now they have a brand new jacket that is killing me:

The Rotterdam

It looks so good, you guys. Attractive and warm with a wind-blocking front layer. It would make an excellent gift. For me. And, they are offering 25% off right now with code SALE25 (or 35% off with code SALE35 on orders of $250 or more.)

If you're looking more in the stocking stuff arena, this Camelbak insulated water bottle is basically the best ever. THE BEST:

CamelBak Podium Chill Bottle

It's insulated, doesn't leak, has a Camelbak bite valve, and will last forever unless someone swipes it in the gym locker room which happened to me last year. I WILL FIND YOU, BOTTLE THIEF. Ahem. They're good for cycling or just general gym-going and there's a sleek stainless steel version if you don't dig the plastic.

Alright, my next suggestion is going to be controversial, but hear me out. Lululemon. I know. I know. But, the stuff they get right they really get right and if you're looking for a gift for someone who takes a lot of spin classes, this top is quite good:

Ride Inside Tank

It's super airy and meshy but has a high neckline so you don't have to worry about showing all your business when you bend over the handlebars. Unless that's your thing, in which case this tank is what you want. It was my absolute favorite... until they installed mirrors in the spin studio.

If you lift weights you probably know that you shouldn't be doing it in running shoes. Many people swear by Vibrams but I can't handle the toe-shoes because I am not a Hobbit. Instead, I compromise by wear Nike Frees and I'm seriously tempted by the leopard print version they have right now:

Nike Free 5.0

I think that's actually the running version, but I don't care. I want them.  Waaaaannnttttt. They would also make a nice gift for someone who is not me, if you must.

Another ABSOLUTE for the weight room, aside from a well-rehearsed bitch-face, is music. I've had the same little iPod shuffle for years and it's still going strong. The new version is way fancy:

And less than $50! That is a nice gift right there.

If you have an endurance athlete who's stocking needs stuffing (that sounds dirty) I would skip the grody gels and go for the Margarita Clif Shot Bloks:

They are tasty enough that your giftee won't wait until they're in full bonk before eating one.

Another thing that's always in my gym bag is one of these YogaRat Microfiber hand towels

They are small and lightweight and perfect for the gym-goer who's stupid gym doesn't provide towels (like mine. Hi, Golds! You suck.) They dry quickly and are also great to stash in your car for those time when you accidentally spill coffee all over the place or whatever.

 So, that's it! The last freaking gift guide you'll ever want to read. Please stop crying.

Gift Guide For Your Sworn Enemy.

I am not one to have sworn enemies (as far as I know)  but I am open to the idea. It could happen! And if it does, I need to be prepared. Like, what do you buy for your enemy when the holidays roll around? Here are some ideas:

This is the worst mascara EVER disguised as the best mascara ever. That way, you look like you're doing your enemy a favor instead of what you're actually doing, which is giving her shitty mascara:

And nothing says "I love to hate you" like paring it with the World's Worst cute nail files. Win!

This seems like a really cute leather-trimmed dress (and a great price!) but wow, those reviews:

This nice-seeming dress will make your enemy look poochy! PERFECT.

"But, they're Jimmy Choo!"

"But it's Givenchy!"

"What? You love Stella McCartney!"

If your enemy loves cooking, buy something from the JCPenney Michael Graves line. If it's anything like the old Target version this stuff looks great but it was all designed by someone who's never cooked a meal. Or lived on the planet.  (Related, I once had a MG knife set where you couldn't tell which side of the knife was sharp. Good designing, Michael Crazypants.)

If your enemy is trying to get into a fitness routine, definitely buy this Tracy Anderson monstrosity of time-wasting starvation diet uselessness:

Yay! Lift that 2lb weight a million times and eat baby food! You're so close!

Now, if I were your sworn enemy, a Yankee Candle would be the very best/worst thing you could buy for me. Especially if it was an extra-offensive Man Candle:

There is so much wrong with that I don't even know where to start, y'all. And it would make me wheeze, so bonus enemy torture.

Finally, if you are truly full of awesome hate for the enemy in your life these gummy bears are exactly the thing. So thoughtful!

Adrien: Cardigan Addiction is No Joke.

You guys probably don't know this about me but I actually own quite a few jackets. I do! There they hang in my closet, a row of sad little pound puppies looking at me like, "Maybe today? Maybe today is the day you love me again?" And then I pick a cardigan and the jackets slink back into a corner and oh my God, what the hell am I even talking about. ANYWAY, here is one of my jackets that I haven't worn on the blog in nearly two years:

I'm not really sure why I buttoned it like that because it's not really working, except to give me some shape. This jacket is from the Gap from maybe five years ago? A long time ago by Gap standards. (This one is similar and this one is pretty freaking nice. This one is hurting my feelings A LOT.) Here's what it looks like unbuttoned: 

Better, but it would probably look more appropriate worn over something super-simple? Who cares, it's not a cardigan. The dress I'm wearing is BCBG (similar purple print dress here) and I've worn it a ton. 

My boots are Camper, which are a great option if you have slim calves. (This year's version here.) My bag is an old Andrea Brueckner Aspen satchel and it's my version of the beautiful Mulberry Bayswater bag I'll never own. Whee! Maybe I'll wear a jacket again one day.

Concealer Is Our Drug.

M: Effing Kim France making me want $75 eye goop.

Kate Somerville CytoCell Dark Circle Corrective Eye Cream

A: I KNOW. I CAN'T WANT THAT.

M: NOPE.

A: And the concealer she linked is SEVENTY DOLLARS. And I'm pretty sure it's magical...right?

Cle de Peau Beaute Clé de Peau Beauté Concealer

M: No. NO. NO MORE.

A: I love the reviews on the concealer. All those people are like, "I AM SURE THIS IS THE HOLY GRAIL NO REALLY I THINK IT MUST BE."

M: It MUST be because otherwise I wasted my money like a chump. HOLY GRAIL.

A: No wayyyyyyy. It's made from unicorn dreams. YOU WILL FUCKING GLOW.

M: Unless that concealer can magically give me a solid 8 hours of sleep a night, it's bullshit. Though if it did that I would pay a LOT more. Like, a lot.

A: I would totally shell out for sleep concealer too. I am pretty serious about concealer in general.

M: I keep using Fake-Up because it's so easy but it's not really beefy enough.

Benefit Cosmetics Fake Up Concealer

A: Fake-Up is my base layer concealer and I put the Nars stuff over that. My concealer game is complicated.

A: Ugh, the more I read about that Cle De Peau concealer the more I want it.

M: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A: No, seriously, the Saks site has this warning:

DUE TO HIGH DEMAND, A CUSTOMER MAY ORDER NO MORE THAN 6 UNITS OF THIS ITEM EVERY THIRTY DAYS.

A: IT COST $70. FOR ONE. WHAT ARE PEOPLE DOING WITH IT.

M: Yeah they have that warning on the fahncy Hermès perfume in my gift guide too. NOT BUYING IT.

A: YOU CAN'T HAVE ALL THE THINGS, GREEDY-PANTS.

M: BUT I NEED 378 BOTTLES OF HERMES PERFUME SO I CAN FILL A BATHTUB WITH IT.

A: IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE MAKING METH WITH IT. GEEZ.

A: Wait, are you? Because if so we need to have a talk.

M: THAT WOULD BE WASTEFUL. Plus everyone knows you make meth out of Jolly Ranchers and Loves Baby Soft.

A: Worst drug ever. EVER.

M: Awful.

Weekend Window Shopping: Crazy Bargains.

You guys! Piperlime is currently offering 50% off final sale items with coupon code FIFTY. So, if you don't mind a bit of a gamble, perhaps these things should be yours (please forgive my vaguey sale-math):

Gabi Stripe Mini Dress by Ella Moss

Marked down to $79.97, so $40 final price

Origami Silky Dress by Tinley Road 

Marked down to$39.97, so $20 final price

Gem Drop Earring by Sabine

Marked down to $18.97, so $9.50 final price

Ella Moss Janie
Marked down to $139.97, so $70 final price

Talullah boot by Dolce Vita  

Marked down to $174.97, so $87.50 final price

Mara Dress by Collective Concepts

Marked down to$44.97, so $22.50 final price

Long Line Biker Jacket by Tinley Road

Marked down to $74.97, so $37.50 final price

Stuff is selling out really fast so my apologies if these items are already gone! I tried not to pick stuff with one size left, because that's just rude. Oh, and don't forget to use eBates for 4% back! (referral link!)