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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

NO THANK YOU, MOM JEANS.

A: I PROTEST.

M: "They won't necessarily flatter your body." SOLD!

A: JUST BECAUSE THEY EXIST DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY.

M: I love a high waisted jean! They can be comfortable and flattering and oh my gooooooood don't wear these!

A: I just don't think the person who wrote this article actually knows what "mom jeans" are.

M: Frankly I am a little offended. Both as a mom and as a human being with working eyeballs.

A: I just avoid anything with pleats, elastic or long-bottom potential. They are never okay.

M: Pretty sure you can buy pants that fit that description at Urban Outfitters OH LOOKEE THERE.


A: And this pair? That are just outright called Mom Jeans?

No no no
M: Longest. Product. Name. Ever. Coincidentally, also longest zipper.

A: What do you think the rise is on those? 14"? 42"?

M: I think that's an accurate range.

A: I just can't. I can't. I CANNOT.

M: There there. No one is going to make you wear the horrible jeans. *pats head*

A: You might. You might make me wear them.

M: Damn it, FOILED AGAIN.

8 comments:

  1. Oh, ew! To all of them! I know it's all "OMG high fashun" to make ugly things cool, but this just CANNOT WILL NOT happen. You're all headed to the 75% off clearance racks.

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  2. I still cannot believe people are trying to make this happen. If you're that invested in wearing mom jeans just go to goodwill and buy some for nothing. $50+ for a pair of jeans that are already outdated, unfashionable, and tragic? NOPE.

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  3. Remember we all said this when skinny jeans came back into style. And now look at us.

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  4. I sometimes imagine that an evil villain was hoarding a warehouse full of these from the early nineties and is now twirling their mustache and cackling at fashion's circular stupidity. The acid wash! It burns my eyes!

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  5. There is no right way. No right way at all.

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  6. I just saw a girl on campus in fairly high-waisted very dark acid-wash jeans and I have to say I didn't hate it. Of course she's probably 19 with not an ounce of body fat and her ass is still perky and her thighs probably don't touch. So there's that.

    ReplyDelete
  7. As always, lurve y'all. More great fashion ideas that the fashion industry should totally revisit from the 90s and write articles about:

    How to "Rock the Rachel" Cut
    Grunge: It Doesn't Have To Be Dirty
    Lipliner: Never Enough, No Such Thing as Too Dark
    Sans-A-Belt Doesn't Equal Sans-Sexy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here's the thing they don't seem to get - "mom jeans" were NEVER in. Never ever. They were literally the gross jeans your mom wore because back then there weren't other good denim alternatives.

      Delete

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