Cleanse Buddy?

A: I have way, way, too much to say about this but I will just highlight this one sentence from the detox section:

 "we supplement with herbal teas, hot water with lemon or ginger, and room temperature water."

M: Don't get crazy and drink cold water, fatty.

A: Well, and apparently after we swing around some 3lb weights and drink our warmish water, we should get spray tanned and waxed.

M: Sorry, I was just out buying my supplemental flogger and hair shirt, just to round out the torture.

A: Marianne, Tracy Anderson is happy to explain the 800 ways you're lacking in springtime readiness.

M: You can't make me listen to that demented poppet.

A: I feel like I've finally deprogrammed you!

M: I will say that her post-partum video is really good. I know. She's still awful. I'll just see myself out.

A: Come back! It's okay, just me here with my hulking spin-class thighs. If only I'd listened to her.

M: I'm sorry I just drank cold water and gained 50 pounds. :(

A: Dude, cold water? Why not just eat a tube of cookie dough?

M: BRB, plucking out my leg hairs one at a time with tweezers.

A: Will you be my cleanse buddy?

M: Always.

A: Gin soaked cotton ball?

M: Okay just ONE.

A: I like mine with a tiny hint of lemon.

M: Heifer.