Birk Talk.

M: I want to talk about Birkenstocks but FIRST I want to talk about this because NO. TOO FAR NO.

what in the hell. 

A: I saw that and made an angry animal growing noise. TOO FAR.

M: I just REFUSE. Okay now I want to talk about Birks.

A: I think they're just fucking with us. Anyway, Birks. Go.

M: First I need to say that as someone with long, narrow, bony feet, Birkenstocks don't fit me and it makes me a little sad.

A: Um, not to cause problems, but they do come in narrow.

M: Oh I've tried! Not narrow enough. They are just Not For Me.

A: I actually own a pair of silver Gizehs that I like okay. The part between the toes is overly thick, though. That sounds dirty.

M: Gross.

A: I would wear these:

Birkenstock Catania

A: But the Arizona style everyone is cawing about? Nope.

M: Oh see, I disagree. I think that ONLY the Arizona or Gizeh is acceptable. Any other iterations look too....no.

A: I will never love the Arizona. It's the official shoe of dirty fake-hippie hacky-sack playing students.

M: Well I mean that's what they ARE. Fashion or no. I think the fashiony people are secretly terrified that they have to wear them.

A: Terrified? Or hopeful? I think they get cautiously excited any time something comfortable is briefly in fashion.

M: Hopeful, perhaps, but they are not exactly flattering.

A: Well... but we are talking about these people:

source: Trendy Crew

M: *blink blink*

A: They seem like they'd wear shower shoes with mink trimmed Hermes knee socks and be all, "...What?"

M: FASHUN

A: THERE ARE LIMITS.