We Have Thoughts About Coachella.

L: As my husband astutely pointed out this weekend, I wasn't into what "the kids were doing" even when I was a kid, so maybe I was just born old, BUT: what the hell are the kids wearing at Coachella??

A: I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. SO MANY. Perhaps a list.

L: 1. If you're not a hippie in your non-festival life, you don't get to
be a hippie at a festival.

A: 2. High waisted jeans look good on exactly nobody.

L: 3. John Lennon sunglasses looked bad in the 60s. John Lennon sunglasses looked bad in the 90s. John Lennon sunglasses look bad now.

A: 4. Which reminds me: Sean Lennon. Can he be stopped? Please?

L: 5. Your butt is popping out of your short-shorts.

A: 6. Nepotism! It’s always in style.

L: 7. You are wearing too many accessories.

A: 8. How is Alexa Chung always SO G-D FLAWLESS.

L: 9. Zoe Kravitz: 100% cool gene inheritance complete.

A: 10. Katy Perry looks cute.

L: 11. You jack Jimi Hendrix's style, you're bound to look cool.

A: 12. Don’t hassle The Hoff! (What?)

L: 13. If you're a bro, you're gonna have a hard time looking "wacky."

A: 14.  Justin Bieber continues to fill me with nameless rage.

L: 15. You chill with Chris Brown, you're bound to make people have nameless rage about you.

A: 16. NO. I just got ragey all over again.

L: 17. All of you at Coachella are trying too hard. Stop making us mad.

A: 18. I need to go lie down.