Adrien: Glutton For Anthropologie Punishment.

Oh, what is that Anthropologie siren song that compels me to try weird stuff on that I can't afford anyway? I do like the experience of Anthropologie but even though the Ruffle Unpleasantness of 2010-12 has passed, I still feel like most of the clothes there goes just a little bit further than I want it to. Just...one....detail...too many. But I still like to try stuff on so here we go.

The Maeve Sennebec Dress is one I pounced on because you know I love a wacky print and it looked comfortable and washable and all that stuff. Here's the thing: If you have boobs? Just keep walking:

Extreme boob close-up:

I tried it on in a small which is clearly too small and short on me. I'm guessing a medium would've been a better choice but still, no boob space and a low-cut keyhole. Nope. Next I tried on this Maeve Evaline Dress because, you know, print/washable/comfortable:

It was...fine. A little big in the waist and a little long. Nothing I was dying to own but I can't really complain. I think I'm wearing a medium? I can't remember. I'm the worst blogger.

Okay, so you know when you see something on a mannequin and you are like, THAT IS WHAT I ENVISION FOR MY PERFECT SELF. Yeah, that happened with the Crossfront Lola Dress because it seemed to solve a lot of problems - fitted but stretchy on the top, deliberately casual on the bottom. Interesting and simple at the same time, right? Oh.

Huh. Turns out that sort of beige-grey color makes me look like the saddest orphan. Okay, no problem, I'll try the wacky pattern version:

Better, not bad, somewhat poofier than I'd hoped for but still a contender. I like it so much in theory! But there's a fatal flaw with this dress. Something I feel I should mention.

dun dun dunnnnn....

Say, hypothetically, it falls off the hanger. If this happens I recommend you go ahead and start crying because you will be spending the next 20 minutes in the dressing room frantically trying to put this thing back together while your best friend waits patiently. This dress should come with instructions and/or a workshop because it is COMPLICATED. There are several layers and the twisty part at the top is not sewn together it's just all two loops of confusion and RUN RUN RUN AWAY.

Sorry, that dress gave me PTSD.

Moving on, I also tried on the Pintuck Peasant Blouse which is so so so cute and has great details and looked like a big pile of weird sack on me:

But look at the funky sleeves!

I think this would work great on someone who's body is not shaped like mine. I don't know, it looks really damn cute on the model and the color is much nicer IRL.  Damn you, Anthro.

Things bought on this trip: 0. Though as previously stated, I did want those distressed jeans.