A: This is for YOU.
M: False. Those are actually for no one.
A: But, they combine the modesty of a skirt with the mobility of pants. Don't you want to be modest and mobile, Marianne?
M: If by modest you mean unrecognizable as a female and if by mobile you mean tangled in great swathes of khaki then YES.
A: Which brings us to the other page!
M: I feel like whoever wrote the copy for those pants is maybe hard up.
A: Words words words SENSUAL TREAT. LIBERATES THE HIPS. Whut.
M: SIDE AND REAR.
A: SOUL-COMFORTING REASSURANCE. I am...maybe using pockets wrong?
M: It's a lot of pressure to put on a gee dee pair of khakis, is what I'm saying.
A: They recreate the happy state of nature, Marianne.
M: They are KHAKI PANTS. WITH PLEATS.
A: You know what totally saves it? The suggestion that you should wear two of the kente scarves knotted together as a top.
M: Things just got a little bit sexy.
A: Side-teat is all the rage with the kids today.
M: I'm sorry did you just say TEAT.
M: ADRIEN DONATELLA ARNOLD.
A: YOUR SIDE-TEAT IS FABULOUS!
M: You've been wearing your khakis too much.
A: My hips have been liberated!
M: #TMI
Buy them OVERSIZED (the copy helpfully suggests), and CINCH them with a BELT.
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