Shopping Things. We Are Very Good At This.

M: So it's 92 degrees today but I'm wearing booties anyway and I want to talk about fall clothes. I have 4 things on my to-buy list, which I think is SUPER restrained of me, don't you? Actually 3 things, because my inception booties fufill my taupey-grey mid heel bootie requirement. ARE YOU READY TO HEAR THE OTHER THREE? ARE YOU SO EXCITED?

A: I am so full of excitement. Truly.

M: Okay the first is also kind of cheating, but whatever. I have on my list: Mid-Length Denim Button Front Skirt. Now, I hate skirts, as you know. But this won't get out of my head so let's do this. Anyway I was ready to start my search, then found this skirt and bought it sooooo:

M: It could be a disaster and it's final sale because I like to live dangerously.

A: I totally dig that skirt. I wanted it!

M: I think it's so cute. Reviews said to size up, and a size (or two) up was all that was left, so fingers crossed.

A: You can always eBay it if it doesn't work.

M: My next item is a cream colored silk button down. Like Equipment but with a price tag I can stomach. I'm willing to pay a little money for quality though. And it just so happens that TJ Maxx has a million of awesome options and I need your helllllllllp. Ready Set Go.

A: BAKE!

M: This one is basically perfect, though I would possibly prefer an uncovered placket:

A: Is very good! I like that a lot.

M: Vince silk tops fit me SO well, but this is white and I feel like not as versatile for fall?

A: Definitely nice but looks summery to me.

M: I also love it in black but that's neither here nor there.

M: I keep looking at this one. I'm part "ooh cute with that denim skirt and booties" and part "Pirates of The Caribbean, Revenge Of The Moms."

A: Hey, maybe you want to be a Mommy pirate, IDK.

M: Real quick, WTF is happening with these shirt tails?

A: Eep!

M: I should probably go with the rag & bone Leroy, right?

A: The Leroy is perfect and doesn't have a super long tail which I do not understand.

M: It's insane, right?

A: I would step on it and fall backwards and sustain a nasty concussion.

M: I think the Leroy is it.

A: It's very classic. I also like the black Vince number.

M: I love it. I have the short sleeve version in navy and wear it to death.

M: Besides the fact that this is styled on a cadaver, this is giving me second thoughts:

A: Poor dead girl. She’s the same color as the shirt.

M: I can't tell if the one at TJ Maxx has the contrast cuffs and collar.

A: Oooh, duh. Yeah. Hmm.

M: LAST ITEM is a long line black vest. Which I recognize is kind of weird but look at this. Yes, right? I could probably cheap out on this one but I feel like it would show in the tailoring and fabric quality.

M: This one is basically perfect, DAMN YOU rag & bone. Probably a lil more than I want to spend:

M: This is cute, not as versatile, but super cheap:

M: This one is not bad, but I'm tall and I don't think it will be quite long enough on me to get that black column effect:

M: A less tailored contender, more causal:

M: UGH TELL ME WHAT TO DO. UGH.

A:  I personally Do Not Vest but I see what you're going for and I think it's cute. I really love the last option a lot but I don't do a lot of tailored things so it appeals.

M: I worry the last one skews a little Eileen Fisher Chico's Kind of Day.

A: That's probably why I like it.

M: What the actual fuck:

A: It’s like an Escher drawing. Down is up! Lapel is down!

M: I know we say this a lot but it legit looks like a mistake.

A: *Pulls vest thing out of box* "Hey…um…do you think this is..."

M: "Send it to TJ Maxx, boys."

M: I stared at everything for too long and just closed the window. Good talk.

A: Would you like some gin? There's room next to me in this ditch.

M: Yes please.