We Need A Pact.

A: If I were to fall for Everlane’s boxy trap again, what color hoodie should I buy and return?

M: Don’t do it.

A: But it looks so effortless and cool on the ten foot tall model.

M: You do not need that sad boxy hoodie. No.

A: Thank you. I don't know why I keep trying to kick Everlane's boxy football.

M: WHY CAN'T I FIGURE OUT HOW TO CANCEL THIS DERMSTORE BOX.

A: I CAN'T HELP YOU. I canceled Sephora Play and Birchbox AND Box of Style and then immediately signed up for Allure's Beauty Box.

M: I swear I have combed their site and I can't figure out how to cancel it. If you catch me subscribing to any more of these beshitted boxes, please throw a net over me.

A: PS. Allure is sending me sea salt spray.

M: ADRIEN CANCEL THE ALLURE BOX DAMN IT.

A: I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN IT YET.

M: We need a no subscription boxes pact.

A: Yes ma'am. Um, I did a little research and I'm so sorry you have to call them I'm sorry.

M: WHAT.

A: You have to use a telephone.

M: 😭 😭 😭

A: I’m sorry.

M: Those assholes.

A: It looks like I'm also getting a neutral lipcolor in the Allure box.

M: I'm making a face.

A: I KNOW, OKAY.

A: I did not buy the dumpy Everlane hoodie. Sometimes I listen.

M: I give them such a hard time but then I see this outfit and I want it even though it is horrible for my body type.

A: That would look like crrrrrap on me. I just can't do the thing they do.

M: It's so modern and fresh head to toe and UGHHHHH.

A: That's how they get you.

M: That model is INCREDIBLY thin.

A: Everlane is my kryptonite.

A: I finally used my credit and bought this Everlane tank.

M: I like that!

A: Me too! Maybe this will be the thing I actually keep (aside from their v-neck tees which I still love.)

M: I am Devoted to their v-neck tees.

A: Me too. They'll probably discontinue them.

M: Not boxy enough.