Part One:
A: I got
my shearling Birks and I'm conflicted.
M: What’s wrong with them?
A: They are super cozy I'm just not sure they are for me. The color isn't really my thing:
M: Hm yeah I don’t love the color
A: I wonder if my money would be better spent buying the leather Boston clog?
A: These are $20 less:
M: Yeah
A: I wear socks around the house anyway?
M: I obviously prefer the shearling because I don’t
A: Right
A: I just wonder if the plain black clog makes more sense for me
M: Maybe so!
M: I’m addicted to the furrrrrr
A: Shiny or oiled leather?
M: Oiled leather shows scratches
Part Two:
A: This just in:
Birkenstock clogs are crazy clown shoes:
M: Oops
M: Heee
A: I hate everything
A: They’re regular b/c nobody carries narrow in the shiny leather
M: Now I’m paranoid
A: Yours are cute!
M: Narrow must be key
A: They’re a unicorn in reg black leather
M: Boo
M: And you didn’t like the suede?
A: I like suede, I just like the shiny leather more
M: Darn
A: Zappos has suede in narrow…
M: I like the suede
A: I might order for science
M: I find the shininess draws attention to them and they work better as background player
A: Right, that makes sense
M: I mean these are not cute shoes. They are aggressively comfortable
A: Ba-BOOM:
M: Way too wide especially in the toe box. Like flippers
A: Yes, my feet are swimming
M: Not the shoes for you
A: Check out
these Arizonas:
M: Ooh pretty
M: I already have navy tho I wish they had gold buckles
M: Maybe I’ll put some rub n buff on them
A: There you go
Part Three:
A: I just got to work and my
narrow suede Birks were waiting for me. They’re keepers!
M: Yayyyyyyy!
A: Also,
the gold boots that I thought I’d canceled? Did not get canceled and they showed up and now I have to return them. I made the mistake of trying them on.
M: Oh dang
A: The Birks are cute
M: You don’t need those boots!
A: It’s okay, they’re super pretty but they’re going back. The suede Birks are SO GOOD:
A: Narrow is the way to go with the Boston
M: Yeah you have lady feet
A: I looooove them. This is bad, dude.
M: The gold boots?
A: No! The Birkenstocks
A: The
gold boots are packed up to go back. No keepsies.
M: Oh that’s good! We’re in the same boat to Old Lady Town
A: Hopefully it’s a Viking River Cruise boat we're on